Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I <3 Remakes

Seriously. I'm starting to come around. I'm starting to think that EVERY movie should be a remake. Come on guys, they're just movies. It's not like someone is coming in and retaking your family vacation pictures with fancy new digital cameras and hot young actors. No one is trying to take you and your mom out of those old Christmas photos and replace you guys with Angelina Jolie and the kid from Harry Potter. Even if they should! I mean, I've seen your old Christmas photos, not pretty dude.

Like I said, they're just movies. Who cares? Maybe when it was made originally, those were just the best available choices. Maybe now is the right time for a remake of The Godfather directed by Paul WS Anderson and starring Jack Black. Why not give it a shot and see how it works?

Hell, I know that all you movie nerds think De Niro is 'teh bestez evarz' but I don't see why Ryan Reynolds couldn't be an even better Travis Bickle*.

Hell, aren't you ready for a Jaws remake?

But those are movies from the 70's! Why wait so long? Think about what Jurassic Park did with technology from 93, just imagine how amazing an updated version could be. I mean, hell, it was 15 years ago when it came out! Who remembers anything from that long ago?

Why not an all CGI Dark Crystal? Think about how amazing that would be! I mean, come on, it's puppets! And that Henson was a no talent hack anyways.

Or, hell, everyone loved The 40 Year Old Virgin, let's remake that. I know it's only a couple years old, but...fuck it! It was hilarious! Why not make a new version of it EVERY YEAR? It would be a guaranteed money maker!

What about you guys? What's your dream remake? Let's hear them in the comments!

*All I'm saying is that Ryan Reynolds might be the greatest actor of our generation. Seriously.


Burbanked said...

With regard to a JAWS remake, I've got two words:

Michael Bay, baby.

Unknown said...

Oh hell yeah! Just imagine the shark exploding at the end! That Speilberg jerk was a sissy, Bay would show him how to REALLY blow up a shark!

Daniel said...

It's true. I don't know why people bother with "original" ideas anymore. There are plenty of movies to remake. Look at the "(____) Movie" movies - they're remaking and spoofing other movies that are out at the same time!

I don't know, I think we're about due for a remake of an old classic like There Will Be Blood.

Anonymous said...

Forget sequels, everything should just be endlessly reimagined, like "The Hulk". Every romantic comedy follows the same formula, so let's just call all of them "It Happened One Night". Sure, it'll be a nightmare at the DVD shop, but you can just ask for the one with your favorite star, like Kate Hudson or Ryan Reynolds.

Unknown said...

I like that! And every action movie can be called Die Hard!

Anonymous said...

I'm still POed that J.Lo and Affleck's planned remake of Casablanca never happened, once they broke up. Think of the joys we're missing.

We just need to lock those two in a room and tell them we won't let them out until they've completed postproduction on this sure-to-be masterpiece.

Unknown said...

They could still get Affleck and Matt Damon to remake all of the old Bob Hope/Bing Crosby road movies

elgringo said...

"They could still get Affleck and Matt Damon to remake all of the old Bob Hope/Bing Crosby road movies."

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sweet damn, I just pictured the poster art!

elgringo said...

I just started a production company that'll make remakes of movies that haven't been made yet. We're already working on a Airbender remake and a Vicky Christina Barcelona 2 remake.