Thursday, August 30, 2007

Don't deny it!

You know, when it comes to giant monsters, only one name comes to mind. Godzilla. And, you know what, when it comes to Godzilla movies, there's only one that stands head and shoulders above the rest, that, of course, it Roland Emmerich's 1998 opus Godzilla. Godzilla is Hollywood film making at it's finest. Established and successful writers, check (Ted Elliot and Terry Rosio were ROBBED by the Academy for theit Little Monsters screenplay!). Big name actors, check (Nothing says opening weekend like Mathew Broderick and Hank Azaria!) High caliber director, check and double check (hey, this is the man who brought you Universal Soldier, and if he can handle the majesty that is Jean-Claude Van Damme, then he can handle ANYTHING!)

Much like Chuck Norris, Godzilla would not be stopped. It's success was assured before anyone even saw it. However, there was no way we could no what we were in for. Now, sure, many of us had seen those old cheesy movies late at night or on Saturday afternoons. And they were silly. That's why they had to throw out all of Toho's Godzilla history. I mean, it was a guy in a rubber suit! Sure, that might have been good enough back in the day, but this was 1998! Almost the 21st century. Rubber suits are okay for aliens, but if we learned anything from Jurassic Park, it was that dinosaurs had to be computerized!

And the original story? Sure, that might be fine for the Japanese, but come on! When it comes to making movies, or cars, they're like little children over there. Sure, it's cute to watch them try to imitate the adults (USA! USA!), but when it comes time to really get something done, you need the kind of experience that they just don't have.

Besides, all Toho did was rip off The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms. Hell, we can do that here! We made it in the first place! We can just recycle the story! Not like anyone has seen that movie in years! And hell, that puts the action right where it belongs, New York City. Let's be honest, American audiences just don't care about movies that take place anywhere else. It's pretty hard to get worked up over a monster attacking a fictional city like Tokyo (what kind of name is that anyways? Tokyo! Ridiculous!). School kids can at least find New York on a map sometimes!

Though, for all of it's awesome-osity, it was lacking a few things. For one thing, there was no wise cracking African-American. Were Sam Jackson and Will Smith BOTH busy? And, while Broderick was good as the worm scientist, I have to believe that Steven Seagal or Vin Diesel would have brought a bit more credibility to the role, not to mention, the fight sequences would have been MUCH more interesting.


That's neither here nor there though, it's hard to argue when a masterpiece is a masterpiece. And Godzilla certainly is one!

In other news, have you checked out the blog-a-thon going on over at Lazy Eye Theatre?
Edit: I may have missed it by a day...such is life...


Anonymous said...

Nice work!!! There are some parts of Godzilla that I liked. I didn't think the monster was too badly done, for instance. But man ... the romantic garbage ... the miniature Godzillas running around Jurassic Park style ... there's a lot to hate too.

Unknown said...

In all honesty, I though it was good as a monster movie. Heck, even as a remake of Beast From 20,000 Fathoms it wasn't bad... As a Godzilla movie...I don't know... it's like the original trilogy without Han, or Indiana Jones without Indy. Hey! That's what was missing! Harrison Ford!