Quick Reviews of Bad Movies: One more time

If you're anything like me, you will, at some point, be tempted to watch SciFi's Yeti. Go ahead and pass on that.

It was like watching Alive, but not nearly as funny.

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies: It's Back.

Sometimes, you have to learn from the lessons of your past. Fire is hot. Ice is cold. Water is wet. And sometimes, you should just jump ahead to the sequel.

Spiders wasn't the worst movie I'd ever seen. I just can't help but think that Spiders 2: Breeding Ground would have been better.

My advise, pop Spiders in your DVD player and just watch the last 20 minutes.

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies: This time it's musical

My friend had told me about a movie called Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, I don't recall the context of it, but that's my story. I netflixed it, and last night, we tried to watch it.

I'm not a guy who turns off a movie without seeing it to the end very often. In fact, I can only think of two times that I've ever done it. But, holy hell batman, Jesus was wearing striped socks.

Fucking Canadians.

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies: Just because it was free doesn't mean it was okay.

Today I am going to list one of my grievances with Continental Airlines. I flew from Houston to Detroit today and there was an in flight movie. Evan Almighty.

What a bland, boring, unfunny piece of shit.

The Return of Quick Reviews of Bad Movies

Last night I watched I, Robot. And you know what, there was a lot to like about the movie. Great effects, good story. In all honesty this would have been a really good movie if it weren't for one thing...

Will Smith.

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies the Third

Last night, as I was stuck at home for Easter due to automotive traumas...I ended up watching good old USA Network. And there wasn't even an SVU marathon on!

Instead, it was The Fast and the Furious staring that guy who took too long to die in Saving Private Ryan.

All kidding aside, you know what, I can kinda see why people liked that movie. I just can't understand why I did...

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies Part Deux

Over the weekend, I was over at my friend's house. We had a couple of 40s (cuz that's just how we roll...) and sat down to watch Immortal. That ended, so we left SciFi on and started watching Earth vs The Spider.

I hate to ruin the ending for you, but I think it went something like this:

Hey, I think if you turn it to 47, Futurama is on.

For the record, Amelia Heinle, totally a poor man's Denise Richards...

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies

I had this idea over the weekend. It was an idea that could change the world, for the better, this time. An idea that could very well change the course of human evolution. It's the kind of thing that your grandkids will learn about in their history classes, and you'll tell them where you were when it happened. That idea? Quick Reviews of Bad Movies. A new feature here at 7dp. And today, it's a special Inagural Stallone Edition.

Demolition Man: It was no Tango & Cash.

Judge Dredd: It was no Demolition Man.

Remember, you were witness to history in the making.