Wednesday, January 17, 2007

In which I take care of my moral obligations.

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have some sort of a duty as a blogger to "help mold film making."

Here I've spent the past year assuming my obligation as a blogger was to foam at the mouth and write mildy witty comments about the movies I watch. I mean hell, I started doing this as a way to talk shit about movies.

But if someone in this world thinks that entitles me to influence Hollywood (I'm looking at, then goddammit, I'm gonna try!


Dear Hollywood,

Hey there! How ya been? It's been along time since we talked last! I know, I made new friends, those wacky foreigner and their crazy ghost stories. I guess I got a little too caught up in that new circle that we lost touch. It was kind of cute at first when you tried imitating them to win me back, what with your own wacky ghost stories.

What was it, 1998? Remember that summer? We spent so much time together, going to the beach, hitting Cedar Point. You were there when my girlfriend dumped me. I tried to warn you that getting involved with Jerry Springer was bad news. You were so full of dreams though back then. Between saving your Army friend Pvt. Ryan, and saving the world from an asteroid (twice!), you introduced us to your friend Mary and your Japanese friend Godzilla. Remember him? You gave him that makeover for his big introduction.

I've been wondering about him lately, too. Or, I should say, her. She did lay all those eggs! What ever became of them? You know, I had an idea. Maybe it's time you bring Godzilla back across the Pacific, I hear he's retired now, but maybe you can talk him into one more romp through the city. Bring his friends, too, he's going to need them!

See here's my idea, take a city like Seattle, and it's overrun with zombies. Yeah. See, you like zombies. So, all these zombies taking over the city, nothing can stop them, and then, here comes Godzilla. To save the day! But in the process, Godzilla turns into a zombie. And then turns all his monster buddies into monster zombies! Monster zombies with an insatiable lust for human flesh!

Now, I know there's a lot left to that story, and I'll leave that up to you. You're the one with the creative writers. I'm only trying to create a mold for you. A basic shape. It's up to you to fill it.

Let me know what you think. It'd be great to hear back from you regardless, you know, just to catch up. And I hop I get to see Godzilla Vs The Zombies on the schedule for Memorial Weekend 2009!

Your humble blogger at $7 Popcorn

PS: You can change the title if you want. I'm just throwing it out there.


Thank god that's done. I never realized being a blogger meant I had so much responsibility.