Saturday, January 06, 2007

Coming next fall on the CW

There are movies that you can really sit down with the guys, have a few beers and enjoy. Normally, you look at amovie with Vince Vaughn and think, "This is going to be one of those movies! Call the afore mentioned guys. Grab some so called "cold ones"!" Then you realize that this particular Vince Vaughn movie is The Break-Up, which, while it does have Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, this is not going to be Swingers Part Deux, You're So Money Again. That's okay though, you know that it's not going to be something great, you don't expect it to be. Hell, it's a DVD that your fucking bank sent you for using your debit card so much. They just sent it as a thank you. And you thought to yourself, "Well, it's got Vince Vaughn, how bad could it be. And besides, it's got that once chick from Friends, she's kinda hot..."

How bad could it be?


Really bad.

Boring bad.

Not funny bad.

And that was it's biggest flaw, it was movie filled with jokes that didn't work. Clichés that were...well, old clichés. It was predictable from beginning to end. The only thing missing was the scene where they paint a line down the middle of the condo. This was an episode of a sitcom stretched out into a feature length movie.

Rather than two 30-something adults, this should have been about 2 late-teen kids. I mean, if this is how adults are supposed to resolve their disputes, than I'll be a toys-r-us kid forever!

Here's the deal, Brooke and Gary meet at a Cubs game. They date, fall in love and move into a condo together, time goes by. Brooke gets mad at Gary and breaks up with him. Want to know why she breaks up with him? To make him appreciate her more! How do you intend to bring someone closer by pushing them away? What kind of fucked up chick logic is that?? So, Brooke goes about trying to win him back by getting him kicked off the bowling team, having her brother sing to piss him off and then dating a couple other guys, all while arguing over who should keep the condo!

By any standards, this was just NOT a fun movie. I know that drunk old dreamrot isn't the target audience for this movie, but shit, who would be? That people actually paid to see this is amazing. You want to see a movie about a dispute over their living space? Watch 2ldk, now there was a movie that took the concept to new levels.

As for The Break-Up...I guess it was worth what I paid for it (since I got it for free), but only just.