An open letter to Netflix

Dear Netflix,

Hi. I'm sure you have no idea who I am. I'm just some guy who lives in Detroit and uses your service. I have for years actually. I've been a big fan since...well...2002 actually. That's a long time. Actually, I hadn't thought it was that long, but I suppose it has been. 2002 was my first free trial. I remember getting the snowboarding classic, Out Cold.

Sorry, I'm getting a warm wave of nostalgia here when I think about it.

Out Cold really has nothing to do with this though. What I'm getting at is that I'm a customer. I have been for years. Hell, 7dp has been fueled these past years by your service. And while 7dp has gone a bit on the back burner for me of late, my use of Netflix has not.

About a year ago I switched my plan around. I went from 3 discs to 1 disc and streaming. The problem was, I found myself using my 1 disc more than the streaming. I kept finding that the things I wanted to watch (TV shows mostly of late) just weren't available for streaming. And if what I want isn't available, then it doesn't matter what you're charging, does it? It's not a good deal for me. So, when you made the pricing change over the summer, I dropped the streaming service (since I didn't use it) and went to the two disc plan. It's worked out fine for me.

But now, I'm not going to be a Netflix customer anymore. Not because I decided I didn't want to use your service anymore, but because you decided I wasn't the kind of customer you wanted. You spend years building up brand loyalty amongst your users and then...what? What the hell is Qwikster? Seriously. It's a nonsense word that means nothing in regards to the business itself. It sounds like the name of an internet start-up that failed by 2005.

When a radio station switches formats, they can't air any of the old commercials that they sold. The reason being that all of that money was spent to advertise based on the old format, demographics and ratings. The sales staff then has the unenviable job of having to go out and sell the new format without any ratings information. This is essentially what you're doing here. You've flipped the format. Netflix is a known entity. Qwikster is not. You can say it's just like Netflix...but you can't back that up yet.

Last week you had a company that offered two services that complimented each other. Today, you have two companies that people aren't sure of. The people who only use the streaming service, they're unaffected. Every other customer though is. And the people that this will affect most are the ones who paid for both services. Now they have to pay to two sites and maintain two queues.

This just seems like a big step backwards, not a step forward.

Sincerely,

smacdonn
7dollarpopcorn.com

Sometimes an idea is so fucking brilliant you just have to run with it

Dear Sci Fi Channel,

I saw that you have a new movie coming up next weekend, Gryphon. I have to admit it looks...well, like a Sci Fi Original. I got to thinking, you have a fairly illustrious history of low budget man/monster movies. Chupacabra, Frankenfish, and my favorite, Mansquito. So, I thought maybe I could pass on an idea of my own.

Picture a scientist in a lab, or maybe an explorer in a jungle, it doesn't matter, but he gets bitten by some unknown species of ant. He ends up getting some of the ant's abilities. You know, enhanced strength, tunneling, diabetes, that sort of thing. But, unlike that guy who was bitten by the spider, this dude goes on a rampage and it's up to a rag-tag group of exterminators to wipe him out. One of them is the kid who "isn't even supposed to be here today," another is a Vietnam vet who takes the whole thing too seriously, the third is mad as a hatter from all the poisons (think Christopher Lloyd in Taxi), maybe Christopher Lloyd would be available for that one.

And you can call the movie Mant. See what I did there? Man + ant = Mant. Pretty good, huh?

I'll admit, I don't have a story, let alone a script. But I have a title, and at least 2 people who would want to watch it, and I think that's a pretty good start.

If you decide to run with it, let me know and I'll give you an address to send the royalty checks to.

Your humble blogger at $7 Popcorn,
dreamrot

In which I take care of my moral obligations.

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have some sort of a duty as a blogger to "help mold film making."

Here I've spent the past year assuming my obligation as a blogger was to foam at the mouth and write mildy witty comments about the movies I watch. I mean hell, I started doing this as a way to talk shit about movies.

But if someone in this world thinks that entitles me to influence Hollywood (I'm looking at MoviesOnline.ca), then goddammit, I'm gonna try!

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Dear Hollywood,

Hey there! How ya been? It's been along time since we talked last! I know, I made new friends, those wacky foreigner and their crazy ghost stories. I guess I got a little too caught up in that new circle that we lost touch. It was kind of cute at first when you tried imitating them to win me back, what with your own wacky ghost stories.

What was it, 1998? Remember that summer? We spent so much time together, going to the beach, hitting Cedar Point. You were there when my girlfriend dumped me. I tried to warn you that getting involved with Jerry Springer was bad news. You were so full of dreams though back then. Between saving your Army friend Pvt. Ryan, and saving the world from an asteroid (twice!), you introduced us to your friend Mary and your Japanese friend Godzilla. Remember him? You gave him that makeover for his big introduction.

I've been wondering about him lately, too. Or, I should say, her. She did lay all those eggs! What ever became of them? You know, I had an idea. Maybe it's time you bring Godzilla back across the Pacific, I hear he's retired now, but maybe you can talk him into one more romp through the city. Bring his friends, too, he's going to need them!

See here's my idea, take a city like Seattle, and it's overrun with zombies. Yeah. See, you like zombies. So, all these zombies taking over the city, nothing can stop them, and then, here comes Godzilla. To save the day! But in the process, Godzilla turns into a zombie. And then turns all his monster buddies into monster zombies! Monster zombies with an insatiable lust for human flesh!

Now, I know there's a lot left to that story, and I'll leave that up to you. You're the one with the creative writers. I'm only trying to create a mold for you. A basic shape. It's up to you to fill it.

Let me know what you think. It'd be great to hear back from you regardless, you know, just to catch up. And I hop I get to see Godzilla Vs The Zombies on the schedule for Memorial Weekend 2009!

Sincerely,
dreamrot
Your humble blogger at $7 Popcorn

PS: You can change the title if you want. I'm just throwing it out there.

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Thank god that's done. I never realized being a blogger meant I had so much responsibility.