Wednesday, March 08, 2006

You need a plan. No, really.

Ok, today I'm going to blantantly STEAL an article from like it was an mp3:
It was reported today via Production Weekly that Oded Fehr will be returning as Carlos Olivera in the third installment of the Resident Evil franchise. Paul W.S. Anderson returns to write the script for Resident Evil: Extinction, which Russell Mulcahy will helm. And guess what we've got? The official synopsis! Milla Jovovich is back as Alice, and she's running with a new pack of humans, leading a caravan that's cutting through the Nevada desert on a long trek to Alaska. Hunted by the minions of the perpetually scheming Dr. Isaacs, Alice has zombies hungry for her flesh (once again) and lab rats hungry for her blood -- while Alice is hungry for only one thing: revenge. Also joining the cast is Mike Epps and Iain Glen as Dr. Isaacs. Production is scheduled to begin in mid-May in Mexico.
Which is brilliant, but dangerous at the same time. When you think about it zombies don't go into cold areas as much. Why you ask? Well, the food supply is lower for one thing. Everything is so barren and spread out that it can provide a good hideout as well because you can see what's coming at you. It's not the best idea though because if a zombie freezes they can go all Encino Man on you when they thaw. Freezing won't kill them, it only slows them down. It's the same with water, they can't swim but they don't need to breathe, so they can walk along the bottom indefinatly.

It does make me wonder, where is Racoon City to begin with that they have to go through Nevada to get to Alaska. I always thought of Racoon City as being more Midwestern, but what do I know, right? I'm no expert on Resident Evil Mythology, would it be mythology, lore? Trivia? I don't know what the right word would be.

I like the idea of heading for Alaska though. I think it's pretty sound, though it's a long ways to go. At best you'd have to pass through Nevada, Oregon, Washington, then Canada to get to Alaska. Unless you took a boat...

See now, my plan calls for a boat. And deep water. Like I said, zombies can't swim. And they don't float. So, assuming that a zombie would be at best, just under 7 feet tall, then any water over 10 feet deep would be pretty safe. You just have to be careful fishing...

What? Don't look at me like that. You mean you DON'T have a Zombie Survival Plan? That's a mistake. How can you hope to survive if you don't have a plan? Take your chances? Hope for the best? You're screwed man.