Analyzing Star Wars: Boba Fett

Can someone please explain to me the love affair with Boba Fett? What is it about him that makes so many Star Wars fans cream their pants over him?

Boba Fett plays a minor role in The Empire Strikes Back. It's a pivotal role, no doubt. He is the one who manages to follow Han Solo. What did he really do though? He didn't out think Solo. He didn't capture Solo. All he did was tell Vader where to find him.

If Fett is such a bad ass, why did he need Vader's help to capture Solo? And don't tell me he didn't need Vader. If Fett had been able to capture Solo on his own, he wouldn't have bothered working for the Empire. He would have taken Solo to Jabba the Hutt in the first fucking place. No, Fett was just another pansy ass servant. Just like Vader was subservient to Emperor Palpatine, Boba Fett bowed to Vader.

Fett has 3 whole lines in Empire. In all of them, you see that he knows his place. Never does he argue with Vader. He either submits outright or raises an objection only to be placated by Vader.

Darth Vader: There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millennium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. No disintegrations.
Boba Fett: As you wish.

Darth Vader: You may take Captain Solo to Jabba the Hutt after I have Skywalker.
Boba Fett: He's no good to me dead.
Darth Vader: He will not be permanently damaged.

Boba Fett: What if he doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me.
Darth Vader: The Empire will compensate you, if he dies. Put him in.

You can almost hear Vader rolling his eyes every time Fett bothers to speak. But, he does end up with Solo in his clutches, flying his ship to Tatooine to make his delivery to Jabba (who refused to tip because Solo was cold! HAHAHAAHA!! Get it? He was FROZEN in carbonite!). So, again, I will admit that Fett was important to the story of Empire. I'm not debating that. I want to know why so many seem to adore him.

Lets look at his role in Return of the Jedi. Here we see Fett has not only delivered Solo, he's also decided to stick around for a while. Obviously this implies that Fett is unemployed. Truly, a sad state of affairs, but who wants to trust a bounty hunter who kow tows to the Empire? You hire Fett only to find that suddenly the Empire is all up in your shit. Not cool. So, the unemployed Fett hangs out on Tatooine long enough to see some bounty hunter he's never heard of bring in Chewbacca. This has to be, initially, quite insulting. Sure, he brought in Solo, but he failed to get the Wookie.

And if that weren't embarrassing enough...a blind man knocked him into the mouth of the sarlaac. Boba Fett died in the stomach of a stationary creature. And to those of you who would argue that 'he survives in the books' I say 'Fuck you and your dumb ass books'. The Emperor cloned himself in the books too. Big fucking deal. No, we'll stick with what happened in the movies, thank you very much. George Lucas has made enough changes to these movies over the years that I think we can assume that if Fett had survived, it's be in the movie. Fett's dead. He died, screaming like a little girl, as he fell into a hole in the sand.


But, that's okay, you hold onto your little anti-hero worship. Just know this...everything Lucas did to emasculate Vader in Episode 1, he did to Fett in Episode II. I know, you'd rather forget the why little brat crying with his dad's head in his hands. All he could do is cheer his father on from the sidelines. Sure, maybe he could pilot a ship (so long as he didn't have to worry about any gas/brake/clutch pedals). So what though? So could Anakin at that age, and Anakin stopped destroyed an entire droid army as a result.


And think about this, do you think that Lucas would bother with action figures for all the no-name background character if Boba Fett figures hadn't flown off the shelves? No. Of course not. The nerds made a minor character popular and have paid the price for that for 30 years. Way to go nerds. Serves you right.

Just keep throwing your money away on merchandise for a bounty hunter who doesn't even deserve it. Me? I'll stick with the real badass...IG-88.

Because nothing says badass like a killer robot.