Saturday, March 10, 2007

Giant Monster Theater!

In lieu of a review of Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorrah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack, I've decided to go for something different. Basically, I'm going to expand on my Gamera 2 post...

Here we go: 7 Dollar Popcorn Presents: Giant Monster Theater!

You know what guys? I'm sick of always being the bad guy. Fuck that shit!

Tough titties, Ghidorah! You think I'm going to be the bad guy?

Sure! It's been a while. Be the bad guy!

Fine! I'll get rid of my pupils and be the bad guy.

Why do you want to get rid of your pupils?

Because that way I look like a zombie! It's creepier!

Yeah it is. You look so weird!

Ok then. If I'm the bad guy, what does that make your three?

We're the good guys. We'll be like Guardian Spirits or some shit.

You can't be a good guy! You don't know how!

Oh come on, how hard can it be? Mothra can show me how!

Yeah, that's no biggie. Baragon will help out too.

Just do what I do!

Wait! I'm not ready!

Oh, you fuck shit!

I can do that!


I hate you guys. remind me why I stay friends with you.

We have the hook up for hookers and blow.

Shit! That's right.

Besides, we have history!

History? we have a history of you guys attacking me when you get all hopped up on PCP! That's what we have you fucktards!

You know, you really need to learn how to relax.

Yeah, take a vacation, go on a cruise or something. Those ships have EVERYTHING!

You know what, fuck you guys. I'm going to go home and go back to being the good guy. You three suck.


Oh man! Those wacky monsters!

Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorrah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack really wasn't very impressive. Very different from the modern Godzilla movies. Very middle of the road. 6 oxygen destroyers out of 10.


Unknown said...

Remind me why I stay friends with you?

You totally stole that line from me.

Unknown said...

I stole nothing. You stole it from me I'd bet.

Nik! said...

Oh, you fuck shit!
totally flew out of my mouth, twice I think, last night during beer. :) Jeff looked at me like I was speaking another language.