A storm o'hell's coming down on this place any second

There are so few movies that I get to watch with as much awe as Feast. I mean, the movie starts with little title placards of each of the characters. Rather than names, everyone is a stereotype. There's Bozo, Honey Pie, Grandma, Beer Guy, Hot Wheels, Bartender, Jason Mewes, Hero, etc.

Along with their "name" everyone also has a job listed, maybe a fun fact and a life expectancy. For example, Hot Wheels' life expectancy is listed as "They wouldn't kill a cripple, would they?"

It was at this point that I fell in love with the movie.

So, in busts Hero.


Hero lasts for about 2 minutes before he's ripped out the window and killed by whatever is out there. This is all of about 10 minutes into the movie. 5 minutes later we have multiple corpses, no hero, Mewes without a face and a monster humping a deer head. And now it's time for Hero's wife, Heroine, to step up.


And now...we're on our way. The flick just moves at a frantic pace. It's just bam, bam, bam, like that kid from the Flintstones whose name I can't remember. Before you know it, you're watching monster fucking, a dude covered in monster puke, Bartender's earring ripped from his ear to pick a lock, Bozo almost redeem himself, Coach going all Rollins the Impaler with a baby monster on a pike, a monster die for a blowjob from Harley Mom, Rollins mysteriously disappear, Honey Pie bails on everyone. The movie just moves.


To be honest, aside from the monster fucking, there's probably not a ton here that you haven't seen before. That's kind of why it works though. Feast takes some of the old horror cliches and just plays with them. They tell you how likely a character is to survive, but still leave you unsure about those assessments by killing Hero!

No one has a real back story. The monsters are never explained. This works to the benefit of the movie. You don't know why all these people, including Mewes and a motivational speaker, are in this dive in the middle of nowhere. It's also never explained why these monsters are out there or where they came from. And I loved that. When you start to explain everything, it becomes less scary. The night is terrifying until you know that the daylight isn't far behind it. The monster you know will never be as frightening as the one you don't.

I loved this movie. I had no idea what to expect, but was more than just pleasantly surprised. I'm not sure that I can recommend this movie enough. It's hilarious, it well acted, it moves at a great pace, and there are bits that are genuinely scary! 9 baby monsters locked inside an ice chest that you shoot and kill only to put it on a spike and give it to it's parents who eat it, fuck and make two more out of 10.