back to normal...I guess...whatever normal is around here

For a movie with a silly plot, cheesy acting and horrible effects, Machine Girl was fucking tits, yo. That's right, I said it was tits.

The plot is a rather ridiculous revenge story with ninjas, yakuza and a spoiled rich kid. The spoiled brat throws Ami's brother, Yu, off of a building. While the police want to write it off as suicide, Ami believes that there was more to it. On her quest to find answers, she finds fights in some of the most unlikely places.

Really, the movie is cheesy as all hell. And there are a lot of times where you'll wonder about physics and then stop yourself. At least I did. It's fun as all hell though.

It's in the fighting that the movie really shines. It's all very over the top, but a lot of fun. It's kind of goofy, and very bloody. Just enough to be really entertaining.


The poor story does weigh it down a bit. And while you can tell that it's intentionally poor, it's still annoying. It really is a bit of cheesy fun to watch once or twice. I can't imagine there being too much reason to re-watch it. On top of that, there just aren't enough features on the disc to really warrant buying it. But it's definately one to grab on Netflix. Machine Girl gets 6 hugs with a drill bra out of 10.

Ryan Reynolds is the greatest actor alive.

It's a popular question. A question tossed around during happy hours across the country. Who is America's greatest living actor? De Niro? Amateur. Pacino? Ham. Shatner? Genius, but not enough of one.

No, our greatest living actor can only be Ryan Rodney Reynolds. I hear you out there asking "How can he be America's greatest living actor if he was born in Canada?"

Shut up, no one asked you.

Reynolds, of course, came to prominence as the stand out performer of the hit ABC series Two Guys, A Girl, And a Pizza Place (later renamed to Two Guys and a Girl when it was discovered that no pizza place could contain Ryan Reynolds). TGAGAAPP also introduced the world to that Harrison Ford wannabe, Nathan Fillian, which just goes to show that with anything good, there is also some bad.



Reynolds then went on to his breakout role as Van Wilder in Van Wilder, an instant classic destined to weather the years in much the same way that Caddyshack has. Ironically, van Wilder also starred the amazingly talented, and always lady-like, Tara Reid. The chemistry between the two recalled some of the great Bogart-Bacall movies and some of the great Hope-Crosby films. Truly the two were perfect for the roles (and, really, should be considered as a pair for any movie).

If these first couple of roles left any doubt over the genius of Ryan Reynolds, his performances in Blade: Trinity and The Amityville Horror shattered them.

Truly, it is only a matter of time until the Academy recognizes Ryan Reynolds. In fact, I can already see him as Best Supporting Actor nominee in 2010 for his role in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And let me tell you, it will be long overdue.

I <3 Remakes

Seriously. I'm starting to come around. I'm starting to think that EVERY movie should be a remake. Come on guys, they're just movies. It's not like someone is coming in and retaking your family vacation pictures with fancy new digital cameras and hot young actors. No one is trying to take you and your mom out of those old Christmas photos and replace you guys with Angelina Jolie and the kid from Harry Potter. Even if they should! I mean, I've seen your old Christmas photos, not pretty dude.

Like I said, they're just movies. Who cares? Maybe when it was made originally, those were just the best available choices. Maybe now is the right time for a remake of The Godfather directed by Paul WS Anderson and starring Jack Black. Why not give it a shot and see how it works?

Hell, I know that all you movie nerds think De Niro is 'teh bestez evarz' but I don't see why Ryan Reynolds couldn't be an even better Travis Bickle*.

Hell, aren't you ready for a Jaws remake?

But those are movies from the 70's! Why wait so long? Think about what Jurassic Park did with technology from 93, just imagine how amazing an updated version could be. I mean, hell, it was 15 years ago when it came out! Who remembers anything from that long ago?

Why not an all CGI Dark Crystal? Think about how amazing that would be! I mean, come on, it's puppets! And that Henson was a no talent hack anyways.

Or, hell, everyone loved The 40 Year Old Virgin, let's remake that. I know it's only a couple years old, but...fuck it! It was hilarious! Why not make a new version of it EVERY YEAR? It would be a guaranteed money maker!

What about you guys? What's your dream remake? Let's hear them in the comments!


*All I'm saying is that Ryan Reynolds might be the greatest actor of our generation. Seriously.

Ryan Reynolds Movie Poster Monday

This weeks Ryan Reynolds movie poster is for his recent romantic comedy Definitely, Maybe. Which is being released on DVD tomorrow, June 24th.

Now, of course, this poster is destined to be remembered years from now as a classic and a collector's item. I mean, there's Ryan (the greatest actor of our generation), front and center with a child on his shoulders and three ladies staring lustfully at him. Really, all of his movies should use this same layout.

That's crap

I liked the original Korean movie, and I liked High Tension, and hell, I even like old Keifer...but nothing about this poster makes me want to see Mirrors.

And, I DO want to see the movie. I just think the poster is awful. It's just bland and gives you know idea what the movie is about. Hell, from the poster I would just assume it's some awful remake of some Japanese movie like The Grudge. Why not show a little creativity?

I don't really have much to say that hasn't already been said...

but it just so happens that his was a star I was excited to see when I was out in Hollywood.

Monster Movie Poster Monday

I just realized that I'm now up to 400 posts. And it only took 2 and a half year! I don't know if I should be excited or depressed. Lets go with excited, that always feels better!

This King Kong poster is the last of the ones I picked up at the comic con all those weeks ago.