Call the CDC, or go to confession?

Yeah, I've been trying to catch up on my movie watching lately. The sad part is that I still have like 75 movie to watch, just in my collection. I either need to stop adding to it, or admit I have a problem.

Infection. I knew nothing about it when I bought it. Only that it was an Asian horror movie and that was enough for me. Oddly enough, that's how I bought Spider Forest, too...

Infection takes place in a poorly funded hospital that is miraculously operating with 3 doctors and 3 nurses and a half dozen patients. IN THE ENTIRE PLACE. And then a patient dies. How, you ask? He was injected with calcium chlorate or some such thing. *gasp* Didn't the doctor ask for calcium chloride? No one knows. Time to hide the body!

Than an ambulance tries to drop off an infectious patient, but the doctor says, no, you can't leave him. Then the doctor leaves to do something else. Then a nurse sees that the ambulance driver LEFT the patient in the hallway. And I swear to you, it keeps going on like this.

I'll skip the rest of the story for you and get to what REALLY bothered me. You read that right, the story made sense until I started writing about it. It's in retrospect that it's bothering me. What I didn't get was the ending. They went for a sort of twist ending. Then they tried to do a twist on that, and then switched it up again. And WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THE KID?

All of this got my friend and I thinking. What if the movies being brought over here are really their crap? Kind of like if we translated and released House of the Dead in Japan. So, what if there's a bunch of people over in Japan talking about how GREAT some of these movies are and laughing as we watch them. Because, lets be honest, one of the biggest problems I've seen is that the endings in a lot of these movies don't make a much fucking sense.

The saddest part of all of this? I can sit here and bitch about it forever, but I really kind of liked Infection.

I think I have a problem.

Oh no, there goes tokyo

All my life there have been these movies that I've wanted to see. In some cases I've even managed to get these movies and proceed to NOT watch them. For example, late last year I got a copy of the 1954, original Godzilla. You know, the way it was BEFORE they added Perry Fucking Mason and fed it to America.

You know, for being 52 years old now, it's held up really well. I mean, sure, over the years movie making has changed quite a bit, and it would never look like this now, but over all, it was a really good movie that I couldn't understand WHY I'd never seen. And the tone of the film is just so different from modern Godzilla movies. If you watch Final Wars it's much more comic book-y, where the original had such a serious feeling to it.

But it HAD to be serious. Less than a decade prior, Japan had 2 nuclear weapons detonated on them. Everything from the monster to the oxygen destroyer was ultimatly a critique of nuclear weapons.

I can't imagine what it would have been like though to see this in 54. though, if I ever get a time machine, I'd like to find out.

Seperated at unbirth

Bloody-Disgusting.com posted the poster for the remake of Day of the Dead, and when I saw it, the first thing I thought was "Wow, ripping off land of the dead a little?" Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just the HAND IN THE MIDDLE, but I think it looks oddly similar.

It was at LEAST a C. No worse than average. Hell, it might even be a B-

I'm shocked. That channel that brought you Chupacabra Terror and House of the Dead 2 gave new horror movie Tamara a D-

What surprising is that the review doesn't really find a whole lot of fault with the movie. Yeah, its all been done before, sure. I'm not sure that that should be the only thing that we look at though. I mean, isn't the ability to entertain more important? It has to be, otherwise there'd be no reason for all the remakes. So, originality can't be the only criteria for a good movie.

But, whatever. I'm sure Mansquito was great.

Truth is, I got to see Tamara last weekend. And, sure, it was nothing spectacular, but I enjoyed it. It was a fun movie. The dialouge and acting could have been a hell of a lot worse. I was a bit disapointed with the lack of nudity, but no movie is perfect. The mind control part of it was well done. It was a good movie I thought. But what the hell do I know? I just watch this stuff and write in a dumb blog that no one reads. I don't really "review" movies. I'm not interested in it. I'll leave that to the critics. I'm just going to sit and watch what I want to watch.

So once again, Jones, what was briefly yours is now mine.

Harrison Ford is what, 63? 64 years old? And yet everyone thinks that Indiana Jones IV is going to be a great idea. Why? Why does a 60 year old Indiana Jones appeal to anyone? It just seems sad to me. It feels like George Lucus hasn't learned anything from his experiances with Star Wars over the past 10 years.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade came out in 1989. 17 years ago. By the time the new one comes out, enough time will have passed for kids to have been born and gone on to graduate high school.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Indiana Jones movies. And 10 years ago, I would have LOVED to have seen a new one. But, that was 10 years ago. With every year since then it has seemed like a worse and worse idea.

Of course, Harrison Ford says he's still in good enough shape to play Indy. Good for him. I don't believe him for second, but if he is, good for him.

Fact of the matter is that I just don't want to see Indiana Jones as an old man. And Ford's age would have to impact the story. That means that the movie would take place in the late forties or fifties. That means no Nazi's. And if Temple of Doom proved anything, it was that Indy was at his best fighting Nazis.

Why not cast somebody else? It worked for James Bond? Sean Patrick Flanery wasn't bad as young Indy, he could take over the role. Or, I don't know. Someone. Something.

At the same time though, I guess you have to give everyone some credit since Lucas and Speilberg and both back and so is Ford. Maybe this will be one of the few times where something like this works out. Of course, it could be Episode I all over again.

It was a very good year

It feels a lot like 2006 could end up being a very good year for movies. It just seems like there's more to look forward to this year than most. I've got Ultraviolet coming out on the 3rd. Silent Hill in April. May is X3. And then on July 7th...A Scanner Darkly. And these are just the ones at the top of my head. I know too that there a couple of asian movies I'm hoping to check out, R-Point and The Booth. Not to mention that Azumi is getting a theatrical release here this year (finally). And Night Watch, now that it's been released in theaters should hit DVD in a couple months.

And these are just some of the ones I know of already. Every year there are plenty of movies that seem to come out of nowhere on me that I end up loving. High Tension last year for example. Or Oldboy.

There's a new trailer out for A Scanner Darlky (in quicktime), and that got me kind of thinking about this years slate of films I guess.

So, will 2006 be a great year for American movies? God I hope so. I know 2 of 2005's top movies were terrible. So, I can only hope this year's big ones are better.

I should've been an actor

You watch a movie sometimes and it makes you feel sorry for the actors, but jealous at the same time. Ok. *I* watch movies and feel sorry for and jealous of the actors.

Chupacabra Terror is on SciFi right now...starring of all people John Rhys-Davies. You know Sallah...Gimli....dude just breathes class to me. I don't know what it is about him, but just screams classiness. And I'm so sorry to see him in this awful movie. At the same time, I feel bad for Chelan Simmons, who I'd never head of prior to this. She's really kind of hot sometimes, and really kind of not at others. I dunno, she should have been a redhead.

I watch this movie though, and I wonder what would make an actor like Rhys-Davies sign on to a movie like this. It couldn't be the paycheck. I mean the's no way he could have been payed as much for this straight-to-video cheesefest as making Indiana Jones or Lord of the Rings. It couldn't have been the script. It couldn't have been the chance to work with some amazing actor or director. Was it just that someone was awfuly passionate about making this movie? Someone so sure of themselves and so charming that they could have talked the pope into a cameo in The Last Temptation of Christ?

Some mysyeries may never be solved I guess.

Like how the hell do the captain, his daughter and the insurance investigator all end up on a rescue boat with no one else on it. How did it get there? How is it going to get back?

Mysteries!

But it all makes me jealous at the same time. There's something about movies like this that just look like they'd be so much FUN to be a part of. To be the marine who's ripped in half with his guts spewed across the floor. I could be a bad actor. I've done it before. *sigh*

I could be that guy who's always in these movies who's half drunk at a party or at work who sees the monster and provokes it, accidently setting it free and being the first kill. I could SO be that guy.