Follow the ring

You'll be happy to know that I managed to tear myself away from the Xbox 360 long enough to watch a movie. It was pretty easy after I finished Fable 2 for the third time...and own everything in it...there really isn't that much left to do besides, you know, start over again. And, let's be honest, I need something to do this weekend.

I was in a hotel a couple weeks ago watching House or Law & Order or Monk or SOMETHING on USA, and they kept showing commercials for Inside Man. Now, this isn't the type of movie I would go out of my way to see. I mean, I liked Denzel Washington enough in Glory and Much Ado About Nothing, though Virtuosity is almost certainly my favorite of his movies. He doesn't do a lot of fighting monsters from outer space though, so I don't see his movies. Same with Spike Lee, I saw Do The Right Thing as part of a film class in college, and I liked it enough, but he doesn't make a lot of movies about monsters attacking cities, so I don't watch his movies. In fact, if it weren't for one person, I would never have put Inside Man on my Netflix queue...Clive Owen. I think he is one of the most intersting actors out there right now, and I just can't see enough movies with him in them. If you tell me that Clive Owen is in a movie, the odds of me seeing that movie increase by at least 46%. As an added bonus, it also had Serenity's Chiwetel Ejiofor.

Inside Man is a heist movie. It's a movie about a bank robbery, and it gets right down to it. Our bank robbers are in the bank and have it locked down in the first chapter of the DVD. Time to bring in the police. Since the normal hostage negotiator is on vay-kay, it's up to Denzel to go and talk the robbers down. Meanwhile, the bank owner has something, it's unknown what, in a safe deposit box that he wants to see stay there, so he hires a woman (played by Jodie Foster) to make sure it stays hidden.

This is one of those clever heist movies though, so you never really know what it is that they're after or how they plan to get away with it. Only that, in the character's words:

My name is Dalton Russell. Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself. I've told you my name: that's the Who. The Where could most readily be described as a prison cell. But there's a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell and being in prison. The What is easy: recently I planned and set in motion events to execute the perfect bank robbery. That's also the When. As for the Why: beyond the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple... because I can. Which leaves us only with the How; and therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub.

And, at the end, like when Verbal starts walking without the limp, it all sorts of hits you. He really did tell you everything in that opening paragraph. Like I said, this is a clever movie. Is it as clever as the previously mentioned Usual Suspects? No. Of course not.  Is it an interesting movie though? Well, hell yes. Despite being fairly straight forward, you're constatly wondering, how is this going to work? What ARE they trying to do? And they're interesting enough questions to really keep you riveted.The only thing I would have liked to have known more about is the planning. How it came together. Where did the idea for the hiest come from? In that regard, the ending is a little unfullfilling, but without giving anything away, it works. Now, I can get back to the things that really matter...like playing Fable some more...

Fable 2 is destroying my will to live

Okay, not really. It is, however, consuming way too much of my free time. Consider this, it came out on October 21st. I bought it on October 21st. With the exception of days that I've been out of town, I've played it everyday. In fact, as of last night, I've played through the main game 3 times.

What's sad is that I don't think it's as good as the first game. And I don't think it's as good as some of the others that I've played on the 360. Yet, there is still something compelling about it. I like the impact that my in-game decisions have on my character. I like that everyone in a couple of the towns is afraid of me after 2 massacres. I love that they all hate me after I bought all their houses and raised their rent. I love that I can hire whores and sleep with them in beds that belong to strangers. As you can tell, I'm playing the game as a horrible person. I'm going to save the world...mostly from myself it would seem.

The game has three choices you can make at the end, and I've made two of them. I wanted to choose the very selfless, save everyone who died ending, but it wouldn't bring my dog back. And, dammit, I can't hunt for treasure without my dog. So, all I am this time is a slumlord and slayer of innocents. I own every building in the kingdom!

That was surprisingly amazing

As a friend of mine said, this is going to be either the worst 90 minutes of your life, or the best. Zombie Strippers is the kind of movie that could go either way. It's easy to look at it and think it's going to be absolutely awful. I mean, this is a movie that could have easily been WORSE than the "remake" of Day of the Dead. Instead, you get a movie that is more like Flight of the Living Dead...much better than it has any real right to be.

The whole thing starts with really bad actors learning that some equally bad acting scientist have created zombies in an attempt to create a super soldier. We all know how that goes. Soldier gets bit, doesn't want to get killed though, so he runs off. As a result, he finds himself in an illegal strip club (the movie is set in Bush-Cheney fueled future). It's here that he attacks one of the strippers.

Now, most would see this as a bad thing. The proprietors, however, do the math and see that the zombie is generating more money. Granted, she eats some of the patrons, but who's going to worry about that. Well, the other strippers decide to infect themselves for a piece of the profits.

Of course, in movies like this, no good thing can last. Eventually it turns to an all out war inside the club as zombie strippers battle zombie strippers for...attention I guess.

It's very silly and cheesy. I couldn't imagine watching it without a beer or two to start the night off with. I'll tell you what though, in the right...frame of mind...it's an incredibly entertaining movie. Robert Englund is...well...less annoying than I usually find him. Jenna Jameson is...well, Jenna Jameson. The soundtrack is surprisingly good too. The story and the acting are...not so good, but is that really why you're watching? There's tits, there's blood and guts, there's billiard balls flying out of hoo-has...what more could you ask for from a low budget zombie movie?

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies: One more time

If you're anything like me, you will, at some point, be tempted to watch SciFi's Yeti. Go ahead and pass on that.

It was like watching Alive, but not nearly as funny.

Monster Movie Poster Monday

You woke up today, wondering aloud, just what DID WMAP find?

There is only one force in the universe that could be so powerful...

I don't really consider this a political issue, I consider it to be a moral issue.

 

Ok. I've had this DVD for...um...close to two years and never watched it. Not once. Hell of a movie man. It got me thinking, and I already think about the environment and my impact on it a lot.

537

Five hundred and thirty-seven. That was the number of votes that decided the 2000 election between Al Gore and George W. Bush. 537.

Many people refuse to vote because they believe that one vote won't make a difference. In 1977 the mayoral race in Ann Arbor, MI was decided by a single vote. A single vote. Ann Arbor is home of the University of Michigan. It's not a small town.

This is the third presidential election I've been able to vote in. I've voted in every primary/special/mayoral/congressional/gubernatorial/presidential race that I've been eligible to vote in. I've voted in 3 elections just this year.

Don't believe that your vote won't change anything? Don't tell me it doesn't matter. There are very few things that are more important than this. There are very few times when you get to have a say in how this country operates and have someone actually listen.

You have a choice to make.Will you sit there all day willing to play the cards that everyone else deals you, or will you go out and make yourself heard? Will you go out and vote because you're sick of jobs being shipped overseas? Will you go out and vote because you're sick of choosing cars that don't even meet China's fuel efficiency standards? Will you go out and vote because you're sick of our health care and educational systems ranking behind third world countries? Will you go out and vote because you feel that we all should have the same rights regardless of who we fall in love with? Will you vote for science? Will you vote for math? Will you go out and vote because you want to see America stop depending on nonrenewable energy sources? Will you vote your conscience? Will you vote your heart?

Look, I don't care what it takes for you to go. Stop on your way home from buying Cheetos at 7-11. Go before work. Go at lunch. Get a ride from a neighbor. Offer to drive a neighbor. Just go vote. Find a reason. Just go vote. Wait in line if you have to. Make yourself heard.



537.