Thursday, February 05, 2009

I really thought this was going to be a good 1

It was one of those strange moments where reason abandons me and I think to myself 'That sounds like a good idea! Let's watch a sequel to a movie I absolutely hated. Wait, there's TWO sequels??? Let's watch them both!'

So it was that I undertook the task of watching the sequels to Pulse. *sigh*

I grabbed them both from Netflix. They came in the mail and I decided I needed to get down to business.

I must not like myself very much. Pulse 2 is a poorly paced, incoherent mess. So...I guess it takes after it's predecessor. It's a mess of a movie. It really is. I'm not just saying that for effect.

I have NO IDEA what was going on in this movie. This lady is looking for her daughter, but I guess the lady is dead. And her husband (Battlestar Gallactica's Apollo) is looking for her and takes her to his cabin where his bitch of a girlfriend is. And then the laptop attacks them or something and he leaves and gets carjacked by a guy in a red bodysuit who then gives him a single roll of red tape which is enough to coat the inside of Apollo's SUV. At least, I think that's what happened.

The whole thing has a strange, stylized look that makes it look like it was shot poorly on a green screen. In reality, this is exactly the case. The background are all photographs with the actors inserted into them. Which, is a neat idea, but it looks awful in practice. It screams low budget. No, not low budget, no budget!

It's 20 minutes into the movie before Apollo speaks more than one word lines. It's 23 minutes in before you know if Apollo speaks with his normal voice or an American accent! It's an American accent, for the record. Which is fine, he does a great American accent. Him and Hugh Laurie. And Gary Oldman. 3 brits who do great American accents. And he's better than this! He is a better actor than this. He doesn't deserve to be stuck in a movie like this.

I'm suddenly dreading Pulse 3 even more now.


Fletch said..., wasn't the first Pulse that p.o.s. with Kristen Bell about killer cell phones or something? Mrs. Fletch and I were bored one night and actually saw that in the theater. Big mistake.

And this is why I hate horror flicks - it's not like there will be a sequel to The Love Guru, but damned if there aren't two (and maybe more) to Pulse. Ugh...