Monday, August 14, 2006

Half circle back, it's always half circle back

I was playing Resident Evil 4 when I hurt my back on Saturday. Well, I was getting up from sitting on the floor. Regardless, yes, I injured myself playing a video game. That's pretty irrelevant, but I figured I'd tell you anyways.

So, while I'm playing, I think to myself, as I often do (because if I weren't thinking it, I'd be talking and there was no one around, I would have been talking to myself, and really it's quieter if I just think it), that it would make a great movie. Then I thought, but most game based movies suck. Why do they suck so much? Wel, I think I kind of have an answer.

Think about it. Games are long. They're kinda convoluted. You keep going back and forth through mazes, fighting bosses and mini bosses and hitting question blocks and collecting coins. Most of this isn't all that exciting to watch. Look through your grandfather's coin collection with him someday, not nearly as exciting as a good Mario game, is it?

There are so many levels. Each level has it's big bosses and fights, but in a movie, it's a bunch of mini climaxes that serve no purpose.

And, the production value has increased in a way that the animation is as good as anything Hollywood is doing and the voice talent is getting better and better. It's almost a shame to use other people!

You can't stick too closely to the game as a result. So, you kind of have to make up your own story in that universe. For some, it works out pretty well. Resident Evil may not be the best movie ever made, but it's not horribly ridiculous, and they're still making them. Silent Hill was pretty good (and will be on DVD in about 2 weeks). Doom, not so much. Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter...okay, fighting games probably shouldn't be made into movies. It's kind of silly to begin with.

I guess we just shouldn't be surprised when a game adaptation turns to shit. I doubt anyone will ever really get it right, though I guess they have to keep trying, but it seems to me that it will alsways be a lost cause.

What about a series of short films? Or 1 hour specials on tv? You could do the level/boss thing pretty well that way. It might make a cool listening HBO?