Monday, June 12, 2006

It's a 3 for 1 special

You know how you go to that diner down the street where the food isn't exactly great, but it isn't exactly expensive either? It's kind of like the blue plate special at that joint. The food is a little greasy, maybe a tad overcooked, but you're still pretty sure those are french fries on the side. They're probably french fries, you suppose that they could be carrots. It doesn't matter.

Cyber Wars is those fries. It's a movie. You know it's a movie because it's like every movie you've seen before. It borrows a bit from movies like The Matrix (Genevieve O’Reilly was in the second and third Matrix movies) and seems a LOT like Johnny Mnemonic only not NEARLY as good. Come on now, Keanu Reeves was great as Johnny. Hell, it was one of his best movies before The Matrix and from what I can tell, still one of his top 5.

Cyber wars is all about bounty Um, it's about the illusion of reality...not really. Um, it's about a game...maybe? It had that one dude from Blade Runner...oh yeah! It was crap. It was bad. Very very bad.

Next up is The Da Vinci Code. For many, this would be the main course. And really, this was probably the biggest surprise for me this weekend. The book was obviously a huge success and it's almost impossible not to know at least a LITTLE about the premise at this point. My initial thought before I watched it was that, eh, it looks ok. It wasn't as religious as I thought it would be though, which is odd considering it's about the holy grail and if Jesus was married.

It was a fun little movie with one little twist at the end that surprised me, and another twist that you can see from a mile away.

I suppose at this point in our meal...this analogy sucks. What the hell is wrong with me. It's not like I watched these in a row, this was spread out over a couple of days and just didn't have enough to say to warrant 3 posts.

X3: The Last Stand. The third in the series, and the end of the Xmen movies...forever? Yeah, it's the end of a story arc, that's all. It's certainly open ended enough that they could do a 4th. Let's keep our eyes on this one though. I think it suffers from being a bit too ambitious. We're introduced to many more mutants in this installment, and, unfortuanatly, most of them are not very well used. Kitty Pryde finally gets to be involved in the action, and Frasier Crane turns blue, but for the most part, there are so many new characters that they're hard to keep straight and keep involved in the story.

And speaking of the story, it was crap. A cure for mutation. It's like a cure for gay. Or a cure for left handedness. The whole point is that it's not a disease, it's who you are. And of course, Rouge wants the cure, which means that she's not in most of the movie. Cyclops appears briefly. Nightcrawler is MIA. It's less Xmen and more Storm and Worlverine take on everyone else with a little help from those kids over there. There's your fucking movie. Storm and Wolverine vs Magneto and Jean "The Phoenix" Grey in the war just off shore, this Sunday on Pay Per View, Good-ish vs Misguided battle for the freedom of all mutants at Alcatraz (weather permitting. fight lasts until someone is "cured" or disintegrated with mind powers). Also appearing, Fire vs Ice, Bobby "The Iceman" Drake takes on Pyro, because it's been inevitable for 2 movies. And in our opening match, The Juggernaut takes on a little girl.

I'd pay 9.95 for that.