Tuesday, May 13, 2008

His headlights were broken for ages, and she fixed them just by touching a button.

Can someone explain how exactly I'm supposed to review a movie like Wristcutters: A Love Story? How do you describe something like this in a way that would make someone either a) want to see it, or at least b) not think you were insane?

Zia is dead. He killed himself. Zia is the titular wristcutter. And, his afterlife is spent amongst the other suicides in a world with bad music, washed out colors, and the inability to smile. It's here that he meets Russian rocker Eugene. A guy who lives with his family in the afterlife because they all ended up offing themselves.

One day, Zia learns that the girl he killed himself over had also killed herself, so he enlists Eugene and they go looking for her. Along the way the pick up Mikal, a girl who ODed and ended up there by mistake. She's hitchhiking on a quest to find the People In Charge so that the mistake can be corrected and she can go back.

I should add that this is a comedy...about suicide. Well, no, that's a little overly dramatic. It's a comedy about what happens to people AFTER they commit suicide. With a happy ending. It's a movie thats funny without being full of jokes. Everything is the same as being alive, just a little worse.

See, this movie epitomizes the dilemma I talked about a while back. I can't just say 'Oh man, that movies is great, you should go see it' because, well, I can't. I'd have to stop at 'Oh, yeah, I liked that movie' and know that a lot of people probably wouldn't. That said, I give it 8 insignificant miracles out of 10.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Monster Movie Poster Monday

Not much to say about this one. Godzilla, 1955, featuring Perry Mason (before he was Perry Mason). I'm trying to get ready to leave for San Francisco tomorrow morning. That should be fun, though completely irrelevant to this post. You know what else I'm doing? Trying to book a trip to LA the first week in June. Yeah, see, how's that for personal insight. Ok, I'm done sharing now.

Friday, May 09, 2008

I want to see this one

Oh, sure, Lucas says that he won't make any Star Wars movies beyond the end of Jedi, but, it would seem Target knows something different...


Episode 12? Really? Is that the one where everyone's grandkids try to save the galaxy like some Star Wars themed episode of Muppet Babies?

Thursday, May 08, 2008

I have a good feeling about this one

Because I can't hate on everything, here's a trailer.



This, of course, is The Strangers. Perhaps it's not a remake of Ils, but looks quite similar and maybe even as good. Without having seen it yet, I can only hope.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I have a bad feeling about this

Look at it. Don't avert your eyes. Gaze upon the glory that is the...um....poster...for the trailer...for the Star Wars animated movie/series/thing.


Um...yeah. Look around, I'm a bit of a Star Wars fan. I try to hide it, but I fail fairly miserably. And here I am, looking at the poster and thinking about the plot and, I just can't get excited. I'm fucking BORED with the Clone Wars. I don't care what happened between Episode II and Episode III. I really don't. I didn't care when they did Clone Wars and I'm not interested now in The Clone Wars. Two stories differentiated by a definite article. Come on Lucas, couldn't you be a little more creative in coming up with a title? That's the best you can do?

Of course, a lack of enthusiasm won't make me stop talking about it, it will just make me crankier when I do. I guess it just feels like I should be excited. But I'm not, it just feels like we're beating a dead horse here. I know I am.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Monster Movie Poster Mondays

If you've ever hard the burning desire to visit Urbana, IL...reconsider. It's a nice enough town, but, it's kinda...eh. It's better than Muncie, IN...that's not saying much though. Oh well.

It's Cinco de Mayo today, so lets all grab a margarita (or a señorita NAMED Margarita), or the drink of your choice and remember the victory of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín over those pesky French in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. Here's to you, Iggy!


This weeks poster isn't REALLY a poster. It's the work of Kevin Dart at Fleet Street Scandal. I've been a fan of those guys for a while now and have bought a couple pieces by Kevin and Chris Turnham (it was called chicken abduction, it's no longer available on their site though).

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Can he see or is he blind?

I made a really big mistake this morning. Huge mistake. I listened to...the radio. Ugh. I know, I know, it's my own fault. I know better than to listen to these clowns. I didn't like them when they were on afternoons and I don't like them on mornings. In fact, the only time I liked them was when they got replaced on afternoons and didn't have the morning gig. That's right, the show was at it's best when it didn't exist.

It's your typical morning radio show. "Jokes" about strippers and prostitutes to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Jokes might be the wrong word, that would imply that they're funny.


Today, for the couple minutes I could stomach, they were talking about their upcoming 'Creamed Corn Wrestling' event and Iron Man. A listener called in and asked them if Black Sabbath's Iron Man were based on the comic book character. They said that as far as they new it was. This is because they're idiots who have no actual interest in thinking about what they say.

From Wikipedia:

The song is about a person who travels through time to, or for the benefit of, mankind's future. On his way back, he is transformed to steel with "boots of lead" when he passes through a "magnetic field." Because of his new form, people reject him – despite his efforts for the benefit of mankind – and as revenge, he tries to kill them.

It turns out the terrible event he tried to warn people of was him.
Well, that doesn't sound like Tony Stark. At all. But, in the interest of completion, lets see what Wikipedia says about the character:

"Iron Man" is a song by the rock band Black Sabbath. It was later retconned into the source of Iron Man's name, as it was a young Tony Stark's favorite song.[issue # needed]The Sabbath song is played over the closing credits of the 2008 movie.
Ah, so there we have it. 30 seconds of research to find out that the song is not, in fact, about the comic book character. 30 seconds is an eternity in radio though. So, lets look at the lyrics themselves. I would think that this is a song that a radio host with a male demographic would be at least somewhat familiar with.

I AM IRON MAN
Has he lost his mind
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all,
Or if he moves will he fall

Is he live or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head?
We'll just pass him there
Why should we even care?

He was turned to steel
In the great magnetic field
When he traveled time
For the future of mankind

Nobody wants him
He just stares at the world
Planning his vengeance
That he will soon unfold

Now the time is here
For Iron Man to spread fear
Vengeance from the grave
Kills the people he once saved

Nobody wants him
They just turn their heads
Nobody helps him
Now he has his revenge

Heavy boots of lead
Fills his victims full of dread
Running as fast as they can
Iron Man lives again!
Ok, I can see how they could have been confused. The song is describing a being that is slow moving and at least a bit monstrous. Just like Tony Stark.

The problem isn't that they didn't know. It's that they didn't know, but passed it off as if they did. That just spreads ignorance, and there's enough of that out there already. Sure, this is a pretty trivial matter. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, how much does the origin of a song really matter? A hundred years from now, will anyone really care? It's just that, as members of the media, they need to be held to a higher standard. When they speak, thousands of people are listening. They have an obligation to think things through and present good information to the public. And the fact of the matter is that it's annoying as hell when they just don't care.