Monster Movie Poster Monday

Not much to say today. Just a poster for you. And, it's pretty sweet.

Actually, wait, there is something. 7 Dollar Popcorn is now on Facebook! Now you can tell all your friends that you're a fan of 7dp just by clicking a button...and signing up...and having friends! I have no idea what else I can or will do with it. I'm sure I'll tie it in somehow though. I wonder if 7dp should get a MySpace next...

Monster Movie Poster Mondays

We return to your regularly scheduled poster this week after a short hiatus brought upon by holidays and laziness. Yay for holidays! Yay for being lazy!



Oh Gamera, you giant turtle you. Destroyer of cities, Guardian of the Universe. A giant turtle who is even loved by the likes of Roger Ebert! You know you're fighting the good fight when Roger Ebert is on your side!

Giant Monsters All Out Attack Week Day 3: Gamera 3 Revenge of Iris

After nearly a year, I'm finally finishing the Gamera trilogy. The series itself spans 4 years, so technically, I have to say I'm ahead of schedule.

We start off with a dead Gyaos somewhere near the equator. You may remember the Gyaos from Gamera: Guadian of the Universe. They were the pterodactyl type things. Giant lizard birds, sent to destroy the earth. This particular Gyaos is dead.

Next we cut to a sub scanning the ocean floor where they find a metric shit ton of Gamera skeletons. It's like a Gamera graveyard. It's crazy. The opening credits then roll over a recap of the prior two movies. It shows mostly the battle between Gamera and the Gyaos. Legion is surprisingly under represented. Next we meet Ayana whose parents were killed during the attack while trying to save their cat, Iris. Ayana jumps up as it was only a dream.

Ayana is bitter and hates Gamera. Gamera stole her precious! We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little Gameras. Wicked, tricksy, false! Her obsession draws her to a creature hatched from an egg that she names Iris. The creature begins to bond with her through a pendant similar to the comma's from the first movie.

Gamera himself is still busy battling the Gyaos and is returning to Japan. The government and citizens are kind of getting fed up with the destruction caused by these battles and want to kill Gamera himself.

As Iris grows, it tries to absorb Ayana into itself. Ayana is freed from the cocoon, however Iris then decides to feed on the life force of the other people of the village. Ayana is taken to Kyoto and Iris follows. Iris, however is intercepted by Gamera and the battle begins. Ayana learns that it was her own hatred that Iris has fed off of and the Gamera was not responsible for her parents death. Gamera, in turn, saves Ayana and kills Iris, the end.

This was a fun movie. Seriously. It was better than a lot of the Godzilla stuff from the mid-90s on. While it was very story driven, there was a good amount of death and destruction. There was even a fair amount of CGI in it which is somewhat abnormal for Japanese Kaiju movies, though it certainly worked in this one. Let's go with 8 buildings destroyed with your parents inside looking for a cat that will feed your anger and lust for Kaiju blood until you, in turn, lead to the destruction of another city in your quest for revenge out of 10.

7 Dollar Popcorn Presents the 7 Dollar Popcorn FILMuary Extravaganza: 28 Days of Movie Mayhem Day 18: Gamera 2: Attack of Legion

The best job in the world has to be as a contractor or construction worker in Tokyo, that place is always being destroyed! Second best? Working on 7 Dollar Popcorn Presents the 7 Dollar Popcorn FILMuary Extravaganza: 28 Days of Movie Mayhem. The 18th movie in this shindig is Gamera 2: Attack of Legion. The sequel to Gamera: Guardian of the Universe.

The events of Attack of Legion take place about one year after Guardian of the Universe. This time, our enemy is a giant space crab kind of thing called Legion. He eats glass and shoots blue sparks out of his legs like some sort of Emperor Palpatine wannabe. What a jerk! Dude, find your own thing! You can't just copy people's shit all the time and expect to be taken seriously!

Okay, they say that a picture is worth 1000 words, right? Lets find out for ourselves! Gamera 2: Attack of Legion in 7dp Picture-O-Vision!

Sir! Something landed near here. We're still investigating WHERE exactly it landed...


Thank god someone called AVIS


Shit! Someone help! It's attacking the BEER!!!


Gamera is NOT afraid of fire.


Sir! You appear to have a caterpillar crawling on your lip...permission to shoot it off!


It's my mustache, Private.


It's an amazing mustache, sir!


Crab vs Turtle...doesn't matter who wins or who loses. All that matters is that someone is going to be able to make a LOT of soup.


Gamera has green blood! And he's bleeding!


Section 9 Paragraph C of the Constitution: Roll out the tanks


"Hi, I'm Vic Romano and that's Kenny Blankenship"


He's military intelligence...the glasses give it away.


Hands


No Hands. For somereason, Gamera turns into a sea turtle when he flies


Call me Palpatine bitches. You ain't gonna catch this. You ain't no Yoda.


That's one BIG bug zapper


The Legion is steam powered


Okay, see, I had NO idea Gamera could do this...


Good work, Gamera. You've won!


Congratulations sir, Operation Watch Gamera Kick the Giant Space Creature's Ass While We Do Nothing was a complete success!

Gamera 2: Attack of Legion gets 7 and 1/2 scientists tossing their glasses aside when instructed to get rid of all transmitters out of 10.

That's a lot of commas

Ga-mer-a...Gaaa-mmmer-a...Guardian of the Uuu-ni-verse... sing along with me...GAAAAAAA-MMMMMERRR-AAAA.

Screw you. I'm trying to bring some excitement to your otherwise giant monster-less lives! And this is the response I get. Indifference! Hmph.

Well, I'm going to get to it, even if you don't care about my love of giant monsters. Speaking of which, did you see this? Lava Shark. Totally. The lava shark is going to emerge from Mt St Hellens and ravage Seattle. And I will be in love. No, I'm not kidding. I'm going to start the First United Church of the Lava Shark. I will worship it and sacrifice potatoes to it. I will write bad goth poetry about how I am so in love with the Lava Shark, but the slings and arrows stop him from truly loving me.

Back to the matter at hand though, Gamera: Guardian of the Universe. No, I wasn't singing it that time, just proper attribution. Right, the movie starts off like many monster movies do, at sea. A ship seemingly runs aground. But, they're out at sea! What the heck, some sort of atoll? We'll come back to that.

Meanwhile, giant prehistoric birds are attacking a small island. Where the hell did they come from??? And why are there glasses in their poop! Oh no! The professor!

Back at the atoll, there's an odd rock. Let's dig it up. It's a monolith, and there are commas EVERYWHERE! Let's take them. The excavators touch the monolith and it shatters, waking Gamera from his sleep.

The birds though are beginning to threaten Tokyo! We have to capture them...to research them. Let's lure them into the retractable roof stadium with raw beef! And then shoot them! With tranquilizers, not bullets. They're trying to escape! Here comes Gamera! Kill him!

Wait, what? Gamera is on our side.

That's sort of the gist of the movie. It's fun. It's a fun movie. I need to see the next 2 in this particular trilogy. I need to get them and maybe make a night of it with Gamera and Godzilla. My two favorite monsters.

It occured to me though that we as Americans don't really make many giant monster movies. It seems that it's just not something that appeals to the masses here. I mean sure, there was Jurassic Park, which was KIND of a monster movie. Or the remake of King Kong, which was crap. And of course the American version of Godzilla, which wasn't bad, but would have been better had they not called it Godzilla. Maybe they could have called it...Jonathon.

I think we need more giant monsters though. Massive creatures who destroy cities and fight amongst themselves. And maybe they can fight big robots. Big robots with claws.