Monday, May 14, 2007

Night of the Comet

I'm sitting here and I'm at a loss. See, I want to do a review of the movie I watched. I want to talk about it, maybe make a few jokes. But, here I am, sitting, thinking about what to say about Night of the Comet and coming up with nothing.

I mean, there should be a lot to say, right? I mean, this is some sort fo cult classic from what the kids on the interweb say. Have you seen it?I just watched it and while I enjoyed it, I just can't think of what to write!

It was crazy, before the comet arrives, I swear that the stepmom PUNCHES one of the kids!

Yeah! There should be something for me to say about that. Something like, "Comets make you do crazy shit, I guess." Something! Anything!

Or the mechanical clown that's advertising brake jobs? I can't even come up with a clever caption! I may as well have used "Send in the clowns!"

World ends, but the mechanical clowns are still around!

I'm completely uninspired! It'sa shame too, I mean, you'd think that if I were going to poke fun at a movie, it would be when your main character picks up some vaporized person's dirty underwear!

Ok, seriously, if you're going to pick up a piece of clothing...are you REALLY going to go for their underwear first?

But, alas, I can only state the obvious. At this point I just need Michael Stipe to show up and start singing ;it's the end of the world as we know it and I don't give a shit'.

Everyone in southern California is made of Tang.

Maybe that's the problem I'm having here. I mean, the story is about the end of the world. Everyone is wiped out, and they really don't care. Two girls and Chakotay are all that's left and what do they do? They go to the mall!

Chakotay, what are you doing in the women's bathroom?

The people who haven't turned to dust have turned to zombies and they go to the fucking mall! Haven't they seen Dawn of the Dead????? What a terrible fucking choice.

Luckily they managed to find a stockpile of automatic weapons in their asses to protect themselves with. Well, where else would they have come from? They just appear. One minute they're at a radio station jamming, the next it's this:

Apparently they found a stockpile of Oozis. (Not Uzis. Apparently they found cheap knock offs. It's LA afterall.)

It's the end of the world and I'm going to try on clothes to the songs of Cyndi Lauper!

Then more crap happens. Something about blood for a serum or something. I don't know.

Civilization's first new hooker.

That's not a good way to restart civilization.

I liked the movie. I had fun watching it. It didn't hold up too badly. I'm just bitter about my writer's block. I feel awful about it really. I mean, it was a fun movie! And here I am with nothing to say about it. I feel like I should make some sort of frowny face thing here like all the kids are doing on the AIM, but no. I won't. I'll just FEEL that way.

7 I can't believe it took me this long to write so littles out of 10.