Wednesday, March 18, 2009

All I wanted was to see the helicopter destroyed

Do you know why I grabbed Asylum's Supercroc at the video store? No, of course you don't. I haven't told you that. It's certainly not based on Asylum's track record.  I still remember watching Monster. So, that wasn't it. The title itself is enough to pique my interest. It's enough to raise at least one of my eyebrows There's a certain imageto it. The title, Supercroc, is enough to get me to look at the box. It' the back cover, however, that sold me. 

I never realized it before, but in that moment, standing there at the video store, I knew, without a doubt, that all my life I'd wanted nothing more than to see a giant crocodile LEAP from the water and envelop a helicopter in it's massive jaws.

It's not as exciting as the cover would have you believe. The attacks are actually all pretty blurry. The supercroc is mostly blurry when it appears. It must just be cheaper.

It's a crocodile that the movie's scientist claims could eat a T-rex. A T-rex! Think about that! That's just SO cool. Of course that's the only thing that they say in their little 'war room' that isn't complete gobbledygook.

Look, you and I both know that this is not a good movie. It filled with plot holes, cliches, bad acting and worse effects. No, you know what, the effects are actually much better than most of the acting. I don't care though. I had fun with it. I want to be in an Asylum movie. I really really do. Is there anyone out there who can help me with this? I don't even want to speak in it, I just want to be a part of a movie like this. That's my new dream. 

You know what this movie needed? A couple of knocked down buildings. Just let the supercroc take out a building or two with it's tail! It would have been perfect. Considering that the supercroc takes out a helicopter and an SUV with no real difficulty, a building would have helped demonstrate it's destructive effectiveness. Also, it would have been really sweet.