Happy happy mutants

Hello, my name is dreamrot. Yes, with a lowercase d. No, my parents didn't hate me. No, it's not my real name. Do I care if you know my real name? No, but what is life without a little mystery?

Let's start over.

Hello, I'm dreamrot, and I'm what some people might refer to as "a collector".

What the fuck does that mean?

I'm glad you asked. See, I collect things. Generally this means I went the best possible version of anything so that my collection is "complete". Now, I'm not like some others (I only have 2 different versions of Star Wars (okay maybe 3)), but I have bought movies like The 5th Element and The Grudge multiple times just because there's a few extra scenes or a new commentary on it. That's just the kind of guy I am. Thats "how I roll", as the kids would say. Or, that's what I assume they would say. I deal mostly with hypothetical "kids" as I'm just that in tune with youth culture.

I tell you this to be able to tell you this, I went to Best Buy yesterday.

That's it! Thanks for coming!

I went to Best Buy to get myself a copy of Xmen 3. You may have heard of it. There's been a commercial or two.

There were 2 versions released. The standard edition and the Special Edition. Notice the capital letters...it's a proper noun, it's that special. So, what makes it so special? Lets make a chart.

Special Edition/ Standard Edition
10 Deleted Scenes w/commentary /10 Deleted Scenes w/commentary
3 alternate endings w/commentary /3 alternate endings w/commentary
2 feature length commentaries /2 feature length commentaries
Trailers /Trailers
Special Edition Packaging
Mini-comic written by Stan Lee


So, the big difference is the little mini-comic and the packaging...oh yeah, and TEN FUCKING DOLLARS.

Ten bucks for a little book and a kinda nifty box. All this for a movie that wasn't that fucking good to begin with.

Needless to say, I went with the plain old widescreen edition (gotta be widescreen). And having seen the alternate endings and the deleted scenes, the movie is still pretty much shit. So, fuck it. At least I only wasted $15 on a movie I didn't care about instead of $25.

Go go Godzilla

I don't care what happens in my life, or what happens when I grow up, all I know it that I hope I never get to a point in my life where I don't enjoy watching people in rubber monster costumes destroy cities and fight each other.

So, I was watching Godzilla: Final Wars again over the weekend. Oh, and Godzilla: Tokyo SOS.

Final Wars is really a pretty fun movie. My biggest complaint about it is that there wasn't actually enough Godzilla. There was too much ancillary Xmen bullshit going on to take away from the giant monster apocolypse that should have been the focus of the movie. I mean, this, according to Toho, is Godzilla's swan song. This is it. After 50+ years he's finally getting the gold watch and a shove out the door leaving a legacy of carnage and destruction that will keep Japanese contractors in business for years.

And it's a shame. I mean, here is an employee who, for half a century, embodied the Toho work ethic. His attendance was perfect, he came to the office early every morning and worked late every evening. But, such is the lonely life of the salary man...err monster.

Regardless, Toho did manage to throw one hell of a retirement party for the big guy, and nearly all of his friends showed up. Mothra, Ceaser, Ghidorah, Rodan, Gigan, hell, even his American cousin made an appearance (even if he does get called a "tuna eating monster", poor kid). The only one missing was Mechagodzilla, but, it's understandable since they sunk him at the bottom of the ocean in the last movie, so, he was occupied. I think the big guy understood though.

Hopefully he's spending his time wisely, enjoying his time, maybe finally getting to spend some time with his son. Taking him to T-ball on Monster Island. Maybe getting in a few rounds of golf. Just, living the so-called "good life", you know? Because, as the ruling King of Monsters for 50 years, Godzilla deserves some time for himself now.

You tell me.

I know that I've kind of been piling on Dead or Alive, which is admittedly, a little unfair. The movies not out, and I haven't seen anything beyond a few still and a trailer (a very bad trailer).

From the website:

"The story, a cross between Charlie's Angels and Enter The Dragon, revolves around four beautiful women who begin as rivals in a secret invitational-only martial arts contest, but find themselves teaming up with one another against a sinister force. Joining Tina, Christie, Kasumi and Helena at the lush jungle location are Zack, Bayman, and Leon.

Others come to the island for their own ulterior motives. Bass, a world-champion wrestler, arrives to convince his daughter Tina not to put her life in danger. Then there's Christie's former partner-in-crime Max, who masquerades as a Brazilian kick-boxer but has his eye is on an even bigger prize than the $10 million purse.

On the other hand, Princess Kasumi is surrounded by her own entourage of characters: her bodyguard and friend Hayabusa, her half-sister and would-be assassin Ayane, and her brother Hayate, who disappeared during the previous Dead or Alive tournament.

Who will win the Dead or Alive tournament? Will Princess Kasumi survive long enough to find out whether her brother Hayate is still alive? How will Helena's learning the truth of the unseemly death of her father, the founder of the Dead or Alive tournament, affect her loyalties? Can the former allies-turned-sworn- enemies Christie and Max reunite to pull off the biggest heist of their careers? And exactly what does Donovan have up his sleeves?

Intrigue and mystery, beauty and brawn, exotic scenery and extraordinary sets - this plus awesome state-of-the-art martial arts and wire fighting - all await in Dead Or Alive !"

And, now some pictures...


I guess they're fighting on a boat. Jamie Pressley's boobs look weird though...actually, everything about her looks weird in this picture.


A pillowfight gone wrong? Or are they fighting with poultry?


Well, shit, I'm glad they included the Extreme Beach Volleyball part of the video game series.

Look, all I'm saying is that the only thing that could make this less appealing is if it was directed by Uwe Boll.

How bad is this movie going to be?
	It's going to be bad.
	It's going to make Snakes on a Plane look good.
	I't going to be so bad it makes Showgirls look like like an ocsar nominee
	It's going to be so bad you'll wish you were watching a Gigli/Glitter double feature
	It's go to be so bad that it makes it becomes the shortest ever entry in Quick Reviews of Bad Movies

Many nights I've put a blade to your throat while you were sleeping

Poor Lou Diamond Philips...

From MSN:

Prosecutors charged actor Lou Diamond Phillips on Thursday with domestic battery in connection with an incident last month involving his live-in girlfriend.

Me: Maybe I should have read the article before I picked a title for this post...oops

Phillips, best known for his roles in "La Bamba" and "Stand and Deliver," could face a maximum of one year in jail and a $2,000 fine if convicted of the misdemeanor charge. His arraignment was scheduled for Oct. 18.

Me: Best know for? Fuck you. He was Chavez in Young fuckin Guns man. THAT'S what he's best known for. Jesus, you play Richie Valens once and suddenly your branded for life. This didn't happen to Kurt Russell when he played Elvis, or Dennis Quaid when he played Jerry Lee Lewis... but poor Lou is fucked.

According to police reports, the 44-year-old actor got into an argument with his girlfriend, and it escalated into a physical fight in the early hours of Aug. 11. His girlfriend, who was not identified in court documents, "was pushed and dragged across the house resulting in scrapes to both knees," City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo said in a statement.

Me: Poor lady. I guess that's what you get though when you're dating someone best known for playing a dead 50's pop star. Or maybe he's just pissed that he can't get any good roles anymore. Too many movies like The First Power.

The woman grabbed a phone, locked herself in a bathroom and dialed 9-1-1, Delgadillo said. Phillips was arrested and held for about 10 hours before being released.

Me: Ugh. I hate people who make phone calls while they're in the bathroom...it's just so dirty. Ick.

A message left for Phillips' publicist, Eddie Michaels, was not immediately returned. It was not immediately known whether Phillips had retained a lawyer.

Me: Or if he could afford one...

In recent years, Phillips has made a number of guest appearances on TV, including "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" and "24."

Me: Really? That's the best he can do? Guest appearances? Poor bastard. No wonder he was angry...

Quick Reviews of Bad Movies Part Deux

Over the weekend, I was over at my friend's house. We had a couple of 40s (cuz that's just how we roll...) and sat down to watch Immortal. That ended, so we left SciFi on and started watching Earth vs The Spider.

I hate to ruin the ending for you, but I think it went something like this:

Hey, I think if you turn it to 47, Futurama is on.

For the record, Amelia Heinle, totally a poor man's Denise Richards...

The Way Things Should Have Been...But Weren't

To be perfectly honest, if Lucas had made these changes, I probably would have been cool with it...

A cinematic masterpiece.

Because, you loved the Mortal Kombat movies, but you just thought it needed more chicks...



this one's for you...