Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I wasn't really a big A-Team fan.

My brother was a big A-Team fan. He used to watch it all the time. I think he even had all the episodes on DVD.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Thoughts on Avatar






I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here: it didn't require any discipline to attain it.




You read what others had done and you took the next step.











You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility... for it.



You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you want to sell it!




Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.






Here's the thing, Avatar is one hell of a tech demo. James Cameron has definitely built one hell of a world for this movie. The problem is that it's a world full of cliches. It's very pretty to look at, it's engaging, but it's lacking a soul.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Scarface has never actually held any appeal for me

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Once again, the book proves to be better.


A few weeks ago, I was in a hotel room in Stamford, Connecticut. I was getting ready to get on a plane to come home. The tv was on and I was flipping through the channels and The Golden Compass was on. It was about halfway in, but I stopped and watched it. I decided that I liked it enough that I wanted to see how it began, so I queued it up on Netflix.

Last week, I was at the used bookstore and they had a copy of  The Golden Compass. I was getting ready to head out to Rhode Island for a week and figured I'd give it a read while I was traveling. I like to read on planes more than anything else. I put my headphones on and just read. There are no distractions and I can focus on my book. I always read on flights. It's just what I like to do.

I got home on Saturday and Netflix had sent me the movie, which I was even more interested in watching now that I'd read the book. So, I watched it. And all I could come away with was what a jumbled mess it was.

The movie was too short. There are just too many things going on to try to condense it as much as they did. I think that it's a fairly enjoyable movie without having read the book, but having read it, the differences and short comings are just too apparent.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Here's the thing

When I was a kid, I was fascinated by a few of things. Astronomy was a big one. I would go to the school library and just go through every book I could to look at pictures of galaxies and stars and planets and moons and...well, anything else that there might be pictures of. It was the same with the oceans. Whales, sharks, fish, dolphins, coral, it all amazed me. My grandma had a view master with a couple of Jacques Cousteau disks. I just loved looking at them. The other one was mythology. The Greek and Roman stories especially, and as I got older, Native American and Norse myths as well. It was the old Greek myths though that sparked my interest.

The fun thing is, I'm still as in awe of space, the oceans and mythology as my 8-year old self. So, it's probably a foregone conclusion that I will see the new Clash of the Titans.

You're going to see this a lot today.


Kick-Ass

Trailer Park | MySpace Video

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

You got your astronomy in my Felicia Day! You got your Felicia Day in my astronomy!

Monday, October 19, 2009

560 posts isn't really a milestone, but I'll take it.

This one is making the rounds, and you may have seen it by now, but I don't care. I love it!


Are you fucking kidding me?????



There are no words.

When I grow up, I want to be a character in a Rian Johnson movie.


I saw Rian Johnson's first film, Brick, a few years ago. Brick was an interesting movie. Modern and anachronistic at the same time. It's a movie I keep wanting to watch again and kick myself for not having done so.

It was largely the strength of Brick that led me to watch The Brothers Bloom. And I'm glad I did. It turns out that it's one hell of a fun movie.

Bloom and his brother Stephen are con men. They have been since they were mere lads. Stephen is the brains behind the cons. He is the story teller. His belief is that the perfect con is one where everyone gets what they want in the end. Bloom is the younger of the two and a shy boy. Through Stephen's stories, he's able to talk to people and be friends with the other kids. The process, however, leaves him crippled. He feels like he's unable to interact with people outside of a 'story'. As a result, he wants out. He leaves and tells Stephen not to try to find him.

Three months later, Stephen shows up at his door. He has an idea for one last story. One perfect con. A con where everyone will get what they want. Bloom returns to New Jersey with Stephen to listen to his pitch.

Penelope is a very rich woman who never leaves home. From a young age it was thought that she was allergic to everything and was never allowed out. It turned out though that she was allergic to the needle that used to test her. Being stuck inside left her with few social skills. It did give her time to amass an incredible collection of hobbies. Stephen's story is for Penelope. It a story where she is swept off of her feet and on an globe trotting adventure rife with smuggling, conspiracy and intrigue.

You get the feeling early on that Penelope knows that she's being conned. Yet, she never lets on or really seems to mind. She enjoys the ride. She truly has the time of her life. Bloom, however, is falling in love with her and feels guilt and remorse at involving her in Stephen's scheme.

The story is told in a way that, as the viewer, you're constantly introduced to the various layers of the con. Something will happen to make you think that the bothers are going to be exposed, only to end up being a part of Stepehen's story. It makes you wonder at all times how much Stephen actually planned out, right up until the end.

The thing I love about Rian Johnson's characters is that they seem to exist outside of time and place. They're slightly anachronistic. The Brothers Bloom is set in modern times, yet they look a bit like old west snake oil salesmen. They never feel out of place though. They fit into this world that Johnson has created perfectly, and never for a second are the events too outrageous to be believable. It's easy to buy into this world. This is a credit not just to Johnson's writing, but the actors as well. No one feels miscast and they all are able to inhabit their characters as though they were being themselves.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Bang Bang. Bang Bang is the brothers' silent (literally) partner. Rinko Kikuchi is able to play this character so well that you never really feel that her silence is out of place. Bang Bang knows what's going on at all times and is as integral to Stephen's stories as anyone else could ever be.

There is nothing that I didn't like about this movie. Nothing. All I can do know is encourage everyone else to see it as well.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Star Trek Gag Reel



You know what my favorite DVD feature is? The gag reel. Do you know why? Because I love seeing the cast of a movie I enjoyed just screwing around and messing up. It's fun. I like seeing that people are having a good time. It's so easy to think that life is just serious business all the time and it's refreshing to just see people clowning around at work.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Everything in life can be summed up in Venn Diagrams

You can probably infer how I feel about Inglorious Basterds

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

You may have seen this already, but I was entertained.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Soylent green is my kind of people*

 It kind of feels like I'm the only person you know who didn't go see District 9 this weekend. That should come as no surprise though considering the rarity with which I actually go see a new movie. It should also come as no surprise that I would instead watch something that one might consider 'dated' or 'cheesy'. Something like Soylent Green. In fact, it was EXACTLY like Soylent Green because it WAS Soylent Green..

Soylent Green, of course, came out in 1973, so if I say ANYTHING that ruins the movie for you...I'm sorry, but you've had time to see it. Besides, the twist ending is probably one of the best known in sceince fiction.

Soylent Green takes place in New York in 2022. A futuristic world with cars from the 1970's littering every road, no televisions, and 40,000,000 people just in New York City. A horrifying future for sure. Food is in short supply and thus very expensive. Wilted celery is a treat for the rich and meat is all but unavailable. Most of the people eat rations created by the Soylent Corporation. Soylent Yellow and Red are "high-energy vegetable concentrates", but there's a new flavor in town, Soylent Green, which we're told is made of "high-energy plankton". It's quite popular.

Robert Thorn is a police officer. One of the minority in New York who have jobs. He is sent to investigate the murder of William R. Simonson, a wealthy man who gets his head bashed in. Thorn robs the place instead. He takes food and booze and soap and books. This is kind of just what he does. He even jokes about it with his commanding officer.

I liked Soylent Green, quite a bit actually. Which isn't to say that I didn't have a problem with the movie. It kind of meanders, or moseys on over to the big ending. It's a sort of slow moving slice of life in this dystopian future and suddenly, Soylent Green is people. It's an answer to a question that no one was really asking. There's vague mention of a conspiracy of some sort involving the govenor, and they try to get Thorn to stop investigating this murder, but for the first 90 minutes, the story gives you no reason to even wonder if Soylent Green is anything other than plankton. On the one hand, you don't see the twist coming, but on the other hand, it feels a bit sudden, a bit out of the blue.

 *Blatant Futurama reference.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Do you know what I'm excited about?

Season 3 of the internet series The Guild, that's what I'm excited about (btw, this sentence makes NO SENSE if you haven't read the title of the post. it's intentional.)

They just released a song called Do You Want To Date My Avatar? Which is simply awesome. Felicia Day looks amazing and Jeff Lewis as Vork is one of the funniest things in the video.



The Guild's website is down at the moment for maintenance or something, but according to their facebook:

Season 3 launches August 25th on Xbox Live, September 1st on MSN!

Friday, August 07, 2009

Shark Week Day 5: The Return of Lorenzo Lamas

Some movies slip under the radar. They go unnoticed at first. Then, you see it and wonder why. It was such an endearing and enjoyable movie you wonder how no one payed much attention to it. It's a travesty. On the other hand, there comes a movie like Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. Under the radar? Hardly. I've mentioned it here at least once. I thought it was more than that. I guess not.

By now, if you're on the internet (and you being here tells me you might be) and you're a fan of monster or low budget movies, you've probably heard about this recent opus from The Asylum. This time, they didn't really just try to make a rip off of some new release. No. This time they went ahead and just made a nice little creature feature. The premise is simple...it's a movie about a big shark and a big octopus...and the fight. Everything else is superfluous.

The basic gist of it is that due to some...unspecified...experiment (or something) a helicopter doing a sonar test unleashes a big fucking shark and a big fucking octopus from the glacier that they'd managed to get trapped in millions of years ago. They go their separate ways, spreading terror and destruction every where they go, destroying oil rigs, military vessels and at least one 747. Yes, a 747. Ripped from the skies as though it were a big 'fuck you' at Jaws 2 and the destruction of a measly little helicopter.

In the face of such eminent danger, who would you call? If you said 'Former teen pop star/Playboy pictorial star, Debbie Gibson' you win the grand prize of searching Google Images for 'Debbie Gibson Playboy' with safe search turned off. Congratulations.



So Deb gets a chemistry set, mixes up some 'science' with her friends and figures out a way to kill the creatures. Basically, get them together and get out of the way. Thank god for chemistry sets.

The best I can tell you is to just sit back and enjoy the movie. Don't spend your time looking for flaws (you won't have to work hard for that). If you can just sort of sit back and relax and try to just enjoy the sheer ridiculousness of it all, you might just enjoy the movie as much as I did. It's silly, the science makes no sense at all, but it's all kind of fun.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Shark Week Day 4: Laziness and reruns

I'm going to be completely honest with you. Last night, while I should have been watching some totally awesome shark movie to write about, I went to a baseball game. The good news is that the Tigers won! 4-2 over the Orioles. It was a mostly boring game up until the 8th inning, but Magglio Ordonez had a home run, and like I said, they won. So, it was a lot of fun in the end. After the game I went to the casino and *I* won! So, there was a lot of winning going on last night. Except on the Shark Week front. Which leads me to the bad news.

I really have nothing to write about today. I could have come up with a list of some sort, but I think I've made it pretty clear over the years that I'm not very good at that. I could do a comparison between two sharks, but lets be honest, it's already been done (and a lot better than I could do).

So, I've decided to re-run a review from the original Shark Week. Enjoy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me start by warning you that Spring Break Shark Attack was a CBS made for TV movie. Knowing this myself, I watched it without very high hopes. Obviously the potential for lots of blood and gore and the like would be low. I mean, CBS, right? It's not like it's Fox or something.

And besides, theres a five fin-to-one person shark ratio on the cover! Hello, McFly!! That means carnage!

Danielle is a college student, still living at home with her parents. It's spring break and her friends went down to Florida. Danielle, like, totally wants to go, but her dad is totally harshing her mellow and not letting her go. So, Danielle is all like, 'Well, I go to Habitat for Humanity' and dad is like 'Coo' and Danielle is all like 'Haha, I so lied' and goes to Florida anyways.

Once there, she meets up with her friends. They try on hats, and then go to the beach. I don't get it either, but, hey, whatever. Once at the beach, it's all about pretty people without much clothes on. It's all...very exciting.

Danielle's brother, who looks like a poor man's Luke Wilson, goes to school in the area, or something. Maybe he's a grad student. I wasn't really paying much attention. Whatever he is, he's doing research. On sharks. His research however has left him oblivious to the big fucking sharks swimming around his boat!

How do you miss that?

Come on! It's right fucking there, dude! It almost bit your fucking foot off!

Danielle, while trying to find out where her brother is, meets a dude named Shane. He's a righteous dude. Seriously. Working to save up money for college. Not like these rich kids partying. Nope. He's working.

Danielle kind of digs this dude, but earlier, she met a guy named JT who is a massive douche bag. He seems like the kind of guy who would try to give a girl the roofies to get some, you know?


Well, that confirms THOSE suspicions.

Basically, the non-shark story is that Danielle is a virgin, and JT wants to get some. But Danielle likes Shane because he looks like a poor man's Jason Mewes. I guess. Or maybe it's because he's not some pretty boy like the others. He's 'deep'. He reads books without half naked ladies on the cover. JT, however, doesn't seem to like Shane. But, it's not like an antagonistic hatred, it's like an ambivalence. I don't get it. But, whatever.

They rent a boat from Shane's mom's company, so Shane, reluctantly, takes the gang out to sea. JT wants to go swimming and drags Danielle in, and then the rest of the gang jumps in, but suddenly...blood comes from under the boat, and then...the sharks arrive!! Woohoo!

However, sharks apparently are much like t-rexes in that they don't attack things that don't move, so by staying very still, Danielle survives long enough to get to the boat. That's not good enough though! The boat won't start! And the sharks aren't really leaving! OMG! What ever will they do!

Shane, luckily, gets the boat started, but it's broke and they'll never make it back to shore. There's an island nearby, though, so they head there for the night.
The sharks follow.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the ocean, Danielle's brother is finding a lot of half-eaten sea turtles. And the kids find themselves a half eaten human!

He used to be JT's friend. Aw. Now he's leftovers.

Shane manages to get the boat going again and get them back to shore, but he also brought...some friends.

By friends I, naturally mean a metric shit ton of sharks.

And look! Lunch is ready! It's up to our three young adults to save the day now. Because, god forbid the authorities get involved or anything. Nope. 3 kids without a clue are going to save the beach!

But, not one will save JT. He's lunchmeat.

The kids manage a pied piper type strategy with a trail of fish guts to lead the sharks back out to sea, where they'll have to find a way to stop them from coming back to the beach!


This wasn't what I would call a great movie, by any means. But, it was fun. It could have been a hell of a lot worse. The story isn't very good, but you get to watch a bunch of kids who are better looking than you get killed by sharks. And while, as I said earlier, it's not very gory, there is a fair amount of blood around. Think about it though, Jaws wasn't exactly gory. It's kind of a goofy movie, made primarily to cash in on some vaguely familiar faces and a string of shark attacks a couple years ago. I'm okay with that though. And while the kids are playing archetypes as opposed to people, again, I'm okay with that. You have your virgin/heroine, the outsider/hero, the asshole/jerk. These are the characters that have been in every teen movie ever. You know what's going to happen before it begins, but it's still not bad. It's mindless, but not offensively so. It's worth a watch with a couple beers on a Friday night, that's for fucking sure.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Shark Week Day 3: Nothing says quality like Lorenzo Lamas

Years ago, prior to it's US remake, I'd heard about a Japanese horror movie called Dark Water. I looked everywhere I could for a copy of it. Eventually, I asked a relative to try to find it for a Christmas gift. And, in the ultimate case of 'close but not close at all', I received a copy of the Lorenzo Lamas shark-fest Dark Waters. There are some subtle differences between the two.

For example, Dark Waters is about genetic engineering and better living (and by living I mean warfare) through science. A boy's search for his father. And a rag tag couple of con artists searching for Atlantis.

On the other hand, Dark Water is about...i don't remember. A haunted apartment with a leaky roof or something. It's been a while since I watched it.

We aren't here to talk about that, though. No. We're here because I actually watched Dark Waters so many years after receiving it as a thoughtful gift. And you know what? It was a fairly enjoyable flick.

Sure, on it's surface, genetic research, long lost relatives, con artists, sharks and Lorenzo Lamas seems to be a lot to take in. How could the director possibly pull off such a tour de force? Poorly it turns out. The movie borders somewhere between Completely Unbelievable Land and the Predictabilityville.

Somehow though, in the end, it's still kind of enjoyable in a 'hey this isn't nearly as bad as you'd think' kind of way. It's no Raging Sharks (which I apparently like a lot more now than I did then. I guess that's what repeat viewing does for a person) or Raptor Island, sure. Really though, how could anything else reach for those kind of heights?

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Shark Week Day 2: Sharkidiles

So here's the deal dude. We're gonna totally go out to this tropical island and surf. I know, I'm stoked. There's more though. Get this, this island. Surrounded by sharks. Sweet, right? We're gonna chum the water and rile 'em up. And, bro, we're gonna film it. Blood surfing, dude. So sweet.

Admitedly, I have no idea how to talk like a surfer. I grew up in the Midwest. What do you want?

With a premise like that, though, Blood Surf seems like it'd be an awesome shark movie. Until you find out more.  The surfers and a photog and a douche bag go to this island and start filming. And things go mostly well. Everyone is all excited. Until people start to die.

People like the kind boat captain and his wife, and his daughter. No one really cares. 

Imagine this. You got to the island on a boat. It's been sunk. There are 'remains' in the water. Your amazing footage was on the boat, it's at the bottom of the bay. You're stranded. What do you do? If you said 'Dive in and search for the tape'. You win today's prize of having your ass chewed off by a crocodile. Congratulations. You deserve it.

Yeah, you see, there's not just sharks in there water. There's a giant croc. A croc so big Steve Irwin would've pissed his khaki shorts. And it at the boat. And the captain. And his wife. And their daughter. And then the pirates who tried to capture the surfers.

Luckily, there's one man who can save them...Captain Goddamn Ahab, or Dirks as he was called in the movie. Dude's hell bent on revenge after the croc ate his passengers some time back (show in dramatic fuzzy flashback). He's going to kill that croc or die trying. Along with him is his strangely antisocial girlfriend. She's a little tough to explain...um...she's kinda bitchy to everyone and it's not really explained.

So...Ahab's revenge brings them back to the island. In a dead boat. And short one surfer. No one is too upset though. In all honesty. no one gets too upset when ANYONE dies. They have a pretty cavalier attitude about it all. Hell, when Mr Douche Bag dies, right in front of their eyes, no one gets upset...they just have quips ready to go.

Once ashore, they have to make for the ruins, with the croc giving chase.They make it though, and what happens then, you ask? The girls taunt the croc with their tits. Because...you know...crocs care. THEY AREN'T EVEN MAMMALIAN! Crocodiles don't see any appeal in your breasts. None. At all!

People died throughout the movie, and no one is ever that bothered. It's weird. All of these characters...and none of them have anything resembling human emotions.

You know what though? It's a fun movie.

It's cheesy and the acting is awful. The characters choices are unlikely to make any sense. You know what though, that's kind of why it's fun. You're almost just rooting against everyone. The entire time. My biggest complaint about the movie is the running time. Cut out the pirates (who add nothing to the story) and some of the shark stuff in the beginning...you could tell this story in a well paced hour. It's biggest problem is that it just takes too long to build up to anything.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Shark Week: Day 1 of Terror

Without knowing much about it, 12 Days of Terror. Feels remarkably like Jaws. It's a simialr formula. Shark attacks swimmer. Officials down believe it's a shark, so the beaches stay open and another person dies, thereby redeeming the Brody-type character. Next, the town goes shark crazy and an attempt is made to capture the shark. There's a crazy hunter, a boat captain, your Brody and a scientist involved in all of this.

There's a lot of similarites. And, it makes it feel very formulaic.

Here's the thing though, 12 Days of Terror is based on actual events. Back in 1916, when men were men and swimmers all wore onsies, there was a series of attacks along the Jersey shore.  These attacks laid the groundwork for what became Peter Benchley's novel, Jaws. Of course the movie of the same name was based on the book. So, the story of 12 Days of Terror feels so Jaws-like because it was the basis for Jaws. Of Course, movie-wise,  Jaws came first, so 12 Days of Terror feels incredibly derivative. It's all very circular.

The movie was a made for TV movie, for The Discovery Channel no less. Strangely, that seems to mean that the budget is a bit higher than many of the other shark movies I've watched over the years. Not to mention, easy access to shark stock footage!

John Rhys-Davies is the best known of the cast. I don't get him though, as an actor. He's done movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark, and  Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and all 3 Lord of the Rings movies! And yet, he keeps slumming it in movies like this and Chupacabra Terror. It makes you think that someone has some good blackmail on him somewhere. He should be above this kind of fare.

Friday, July 31, 2009

I know I normally hate prequels

I'll admit it. I think an Alien prequel could be interesting. Regardless of whether Ridley Scott directs it or not.

I've never made much of a secret of my distate for prequels. It's rare that they add anything interesting to the story. For some reason though, the thought of learning what happened aboard the ship that the Nostromo finds is strangely appealing.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Duh Duh, Duh Duh, Duh Duh Duh Duh

I checked my calendar.

Next week is shark week.

Let me repeat that in a larger font...

Next week is 7dp's 3rd Annual SHARK WEEK

You might want to stay out of the water.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It was bound to happen eventually.

I'd read how great it was.

I'd read how boring it was.

I'd read how faithful it was.

I'd heard it was amazing.

And, after reading and hearing so much about it, I got around to watching it myself.

That's right, I finally saw Watchmen.

By now, you've either seen it, read more than you ever wanted to about it or have been living underneath a rock (a rock with wifi access apparently if you're reading this).

I didn't hate it. I'm not sure I liked it though either. I was very 'meh' about it. I'm glad I watched it, and there were certainly things about it that I enjoyed...but, I think I still fall firmly in the 'it's unfilmable' camp. It's just too complicated of a story to do in a medium like film. You'd have to really adapt the story differently and it trying to remain ultra faithful to the source, it falls short.  

Watchmen is the kind of movie that needs characters you're familiar with. It works in the graphic novel because you can spend time on backstory. In the movie, well, much of the backstory is lost, and it suffers for it.

I blame director Zack Snyder. In his efforts to remain 'faithful' he gets the look right and he gets the story right-ish...but something is still lacking.

It reminds me a bit of the adaptation of Douglas Adams' The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. One of the things that Adams does well in the book is write jokes. And one of the worst things the movie did was set up Adams' jokes from the book, and then fail to deliver the punchline. Sure, it was still funny and enjoyable enough, but you knew something was lacking.

Watchmen all but puts it in writing that, with the exception of Dr Manhattan, these are all regular people. It makes very little effort to even try to explain why an ordinary person would put on an utterly ridiculous costume (and many of them are just godawful) and parade around fighting crime.

Sure, with an infinite amount of time to tell the story, Snyder would have answered every little question, delved into every character. I have no doubt there. And that's kind of the problem that I had with it. I really would have prefered that Snyder took the story and put his mark on it. Tell it his way. You don't have to use the comic as a storyboard to make a good adaptation. But, because that's what he decided to do, the end result is a movie that isn't nearly as good as it's source.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I have no idea how I feel about this

Part of me is all like 'OMG! This looks so COOL!'



While the rest of me is kinda like 'Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. Again. Meh.'

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I have to admit

I think Survival of the Dead is an utterly ridiculous title.


It doesn't mean that I don't want to see it though. I mean, it's Romero...and zombies. And, even though I may not have loved his last effort, I still want to see the new one.

[Trailer]

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I was on vacation. In LA. I saw this.

Posted by Picasa

Thursday, July 02, 2009

I really don't like the voice over.

I know, I'm way behind the times on this one. You probably saw this an internet eternity ago (this past Tuesday), but it's hard for me to let something like this go past without mentioning it.



Now, I mostly liked The Machine Girl. Not the greatest movie ever made, but it was bizarre enough to be interesting and not so strange as to be unsettling. RoboGeisha looks like it make go quite a bit further, and I don't know how that makes me feel. It could be a gory, over-the-top good time or it could be trying to cram so much in that it collapses under it's own weight. The only thing I know for sure is that the trailer acts more like a highlight reel than a promo and the voice over is awful.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I swear to god that this might be everything I've ever wanted to see in a movie




Words fail me.

A shark...attacks an AIRPLANE

IN THE AIR!!

This is not a review of Star Trek

Odds are, if you haven't yet, you will soon be aware of this movie that opened last week called Star Trek. It was in all the papers. It was a big deal.

You're going to read a lot of reviews. You're going to read a lot of 'good things'. They're true.

Star Trek is a good movie. It's not without flaws, but what movie is? Unless you have a deep fear of or aversion to lens flare, you'll do just fine.

A lot of people are saying that this 'isn't your father's Star Trek', fair enough. It's worth mentioning though that my father seemed to like it.

So did my stepmom. I don't know how into Star Trek she's ever really been though. I think not very.

I hope they keep going with this one.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I also learned that ducks bounce

Last night, after work, I decided to go see a movie.


It was unsettling to say the least.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

It's like they're trapped! In a room!

Thinking about Splinter got me thinking about something else. It got me thinking about some of the movies that I've really liked that took place in essentially one location. So, here are some of my favorite movies that take place in a small location (in no real order):

Splinter
Three people trapped in a remote gas station while a deadly fungus tries to get inside to infect them.

Right At Your Door
 
A dirty bomb goes off in LA, a man traps himself inside his house with a stranger while his wife is stuck outside.
Evil Dead 2
 
 
 A spooky cabin in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't get much simpler than that.
 
Night of the Living Dead

Nothing like trying to survive the zombie apocalypse by sequestering yourself in a farmhouse.

Feast
 
A group of people trapped in a bar while monsters try to get in.
I'm sure I missed some, so what other movies manage to do a lot with a single location?

Monday, April 06, 2009

It's ok! We're cutting off your arm!

Not every movie is groundbreaking. They can't all be totally new and unique. Sometimes, it's enough just to do things well. Splinter is nothing new. There's nothing here that you haven't seen before.

Basically, an escaped convict is trying to get his girlfriend to rehab and on the way kidnaps a happy couple. They end up trapped in a gas station while trying to survive an attack by some crazy fungus that consumes and controls what ever person or animal it gets into.

Nothing amazingly unique about it, but it's still a pretty good movie. Where a lot of low budget movies fail is in trying to do too much with too little. Splinter doesn't have that problem. It's essentially one set, a gas station and there aren't a lot of crazy computer effects in it.