Horror-movies.ca published an article today called How to Avoid Watching Bad Straight to DVD Horror Movies. It was complete and utter shit. In fact, it was such a piece of shit that I needed to write about it myself.
You want to know how to avoid watching a bad straight to dvd horror movie? You can't. Because it's all fucking subjective. Just because you didn't like Shark Attack 3 doesn't mean that someone else didn't like it. Or, for that matter, love it...
I just think that when pick up a movie like Blood Monkey
...you kind of know what you're getting yourself into. You aren't picking it up because you looked at it and thought 'Hey, this is directed by Robert Young! I love that guy!' No, I'm adding it to the top of my Netlix queue because I want to see chimps kill people with names I can't pronounce...like Freishia Bomambehran and Prapimporn Karnchanda.And, honestly, if these kind of movies "make you feel like taking a “NBC movie of the week” rape shower or rub pharmaceutical cream all over you just to get rid of the DISGUST they make you feel afterwards" maybe you should pick out a different type of movie.
