Professor of archeology, expert on the occult, and how does one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities.

If you read movie blogs, and if you're here it's a good bet that you read one or two, you may have seen a meme going around. Basically, people have been writing 10 movie based facts about themselves, and then tagging other to do the same. I was not tagged. I'm not surprised by this as I write pretty infrequently these days. And besides, if I really cared all that much, I'd just do the damn meme anyways.

Now before you start yelling at me to 'quit your whiny whining whiner', let me explain something. The whole point of that last paragraph (other than linking to 3 other blogs) is because something came to mind this evening and, well, it made for a good lead in.

I have one movie related thing about me that I want to tell you. One thing that I want to write about tonight. See, I was looking for a movie to watch tonight. I'm bored. That's all there is to it. So, it occurs to me that I could watch a movie. Ok, sounds like a plan. I'll put a movie in. Well, I don't want to pay too much attention to it. See, I almost want background noise as much as I want anything. So, whatever movie I pick, it has to be something I've seen before. And it can't be Evil Dead 2 since I just loaned it out. It's been a long time since I saw Amelie and I've been wanting to watch it again for some time.

So I pull the DVD out of the DVD drawer. I put it in the DVD player. The menu comes up. I press play. I wander off momentarily. I come back. I press the audio button on the remote. As much as I love the sound of the French language, I know less than 30 words any more. And besides, like I said, I don't really want to pay that much attention. There is no dub on the DVD. French audio and English subs only. Now. This wouldn't normally bother me. Not even a little. Like I said, I love the sound of the French language. Subtitles don't bother me, not even a little. I just didn't want to pay much attention.

See, this happens to me a lot. I want to watch a movie, but not something new. Something I've seen before. Something that I've seen many times. Something that, if I leave the room and come back, or turn my attention from for a little while, I'll know just what's going on when I come back in the room.

This brings me up to the real reason for this post. My assumption is that I'm not alone in this. That other people do this with movies as well. And, well, I thought that it might be fun to share some favorites. I don't really have a good name for the list, but I'm going to list a few that I always fall back on, and if anyone else is so inclined, comment, or write about it on another blog and let me know.

My List Of Movies I Like To Watch When I Want To Watch A Movie But Don't Want To Watch Something I'm Unfamiliar With (in no specific order):

• Raiders of the Lost Ark (tonight's choice (Temple of Doom and Last Crusade are just as likely))
• Star Wars (any of the six)
• Lord of the Rings (any of the three)
• Shaun of the Dead
• Serenity
• Doomsday
• Event Horizon
• Hellboy II
• Planet of the Apes (the Chuck Heston original)
• Resident Evil

Alright. What have you got?

It comes out March 13th.

I've said a lot of bad things over the years about some of the Resident Evil games. I was one of the ones who found the controls unbearable. They made the games all but unplayable.

Then, I played Resident Evil 4. Suddenly I was in love.

Resident Evil 4 was everything I had wanted it's predecessors to be. Not just interesting, but playable, too. Other than having to drag that stupid brat around and keep her out of trouble at all times, there was nothing that I didn't like.

That's the back story. Lets skip ahead to...um...now.

Over the weekend, I downloaded the demo for Resident Evil 5. It's essentially a 2 player co-op game, that can be played in single player mode with the Sheva character controlled by the game. The demo is just gameplay, no story. There's nothing to be learned about the world here, but you do get to kill some 'zombies', and that's always fun, right?

The demo contains 2 levels to play. You're pretty much thrust into the middle of the action. As always, there are lots of things to kill, and you're low on ammo. I have to admit, I've yet to finish either level. I keep getting killed. Not be your run of the mill zombes, no. I keep getting killed by jerks like this:

That's right. Homeboy has a bag on his head and a chainsaw in his hands. I'm assuming it's not the same jerk from RE4, since, you know, he's dead. I distinctly remember killing him. There's also an equally formidable bastard with a large ax/sledgehammer thing. He reminded me a lot of Astaroth from the Soul Caliber games.

Overall, it looks to be an interesting game. I do have to admit though that the controls were a bit wonky and movement a bit plodding. I know that I can play around with the control settings a little bit, so I'll have to see how that works out. Overall, I'm geeked about the game. I'm anxious to learn more about the story (I've been avoiding as much info as I can). I'm really kind of excited about it's upcoming release.

Milla, what happened? You used to make such good movies...

I really wanted to do something special for my 300th post. Why? I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Boy was I wrong.

I decided I wanted to see a brand new movie. Something at the old cinema. Something I could overpay for and watch among strangers. And, since I was in Atlanta, and away from my dvd player at home, it seemed like a reasonable plan to go up to Atlantic Station to see Resident Evil: Extinction.

What a piece of shit.*

No, I'm serious. Total garbage.

Look, I really liked the first movie. I thought that it had some really good moments and worked well as a zombie movie. And then came the sequel. Which, I enjoyed. It was a good action movie, I wished they'd done more with the zombies, but Nemesis was cool. The third one though, I just can't explain.

It's at this point that I would normally give a rundown of what happened. The problem here is that...well, NOTHING happened. For 95 minutes, no one did anything, and nothing was accomplished. This was supposed to be Milla's last turn as Alice, the genetically mutated zombie killer, and they left the whoel thing wide open for a fourth movie starring Milla.

"What's going on here? I have no idea..."

I'm going to give you a bit of a spoiler here. Alice's blood is the key to curing the T virus outbreak, and at one point she is in a facility with everything she needs to make the cure, so what does she do? Does she make a cure? Who the fuck knows! They never tell us. She raises an army of Alice clones to go after the CEO of Umbrella. End of movie. That's it.

The movie exists almost entirely to kill everyone off. Carlos and LJ return and are a part of Claire's convoy, cruising around the desert aimlessly. They're looking for supplies, but have no base, and no destination. Until Alice comes along with a journal from a dead guy who claims that their might be safety in Alaska. They go to Vegas looking for gas, at which point everyone dies. Well, most everyone. Well, most everyone except for the people who had just been killed by the zombie crows.

Oh, and Alice has mind powers.

Things just happen for no reason. Nothing is explained. And in what should be the closing act of your saga, nothing is wrapped up. The movie itself is an exercise in futility. There is nothing to become emotionally invested in. It's a group of entirely one dimensional characters. There is no real conflict in the movie. And there is nothing for them to do. I'd say it was the epitome of banality if I knew what banal** meant.

Rather than showing any real action, director Russell Mulcahy uses quick edits to give the appearance of action. This is a lazy technique used by incompetent directors everywhere. It's a way for implying action when you are incapable of actually showing anything. It's a cheap trick.

And good old Paul WS Anderson goes on, once again, to show what a fucking hack he is. The only thing he's worse at than writing seems to be directing. So, I guess it could have been worse. Can someone please tell me why Hollywood keeps letting this guy work?

The upside of the entire experience was seeing the trailers for Iron Man and 30 Days of Night. Both of which look pretty fucking sweet.

Resident Evil: Extinction gets 3 zombies swarming around the compound until the fence is blown wide open and the mysteriously decide to stay out of the compound of their own volition out of 10. And, I'd like to add a simple plea...please stop. Let this be the last movie. I don't think I can take much more.

*In all fairness, I reacted the same way after seeing Episode 3 for the first time. I now love it.
**I know what it means.

I'm somewhat hopeless when it comes to DVDs.

You know, I'm starting to think that those fuckers at Sony have me figured out. They're releasing a new box set of the first two Resident Evil movies. Now, I'm sure you're thinking "Don't you already own both of those movies?" To which I would reply "Yup. In fact, I have 2 different copies of the first Resident Evil!" And you would respond with, "What are you, fucking stupid? Why keep buying movies you already own? You're an idiot!"

Well, you know what, to hell with you. I didn't ask what you thought, did I? Hell yes I'm going to buy it again (of course, this time, I might go ahead and get rid of my old copy). It has, get this, a new scene! That's right. They shot a new scene with a voice over by Milla (in character) to bridge the gap between the first two movies and the third. How sweet is that? I'll tell you how sweet that is. It's pretty fucking sweet.

Look, I know it's just an attempt to cash in, but I'm okay with that. I'll buy the set. I mean, it comes with a ticket to see Extinction, that means it's 3 movies for $20. That's a deal, right? (Last time I had a deal like that, I had to watch Peter Jackson's King Kong, so who knows if it'll be a good deal).

Resident Evil 3 pictures

There were, it seems, quite a few people who did NOT like the Resident Evil movies. I'm not among that group. I fact I rather enjoyed both of them. Needless to say I was pretty excited to see a handful of new pictures at MoviesOnline this morning.

I really hope it's not some crapfest when it comes out, because I'm really looking forward to this damn movie.

This time...it's posters.

I lieu of anything substantial, lets look at a couple posters for upcoming movies. I mean, there's nothing more exciting that pictures, right? And hey, don't worry, it's not like I'm going to do a whole week of posters. Nope. Don't care about them as much as I do trailers. Oh, who am I kidding, my living room is almost nothing but movie posters. And, I'd be willing to bet that I buy or acquire at least one new poster this weekend. Maybe it'll even be one of these!


You may remember that I liked the 'import' version of Day Watch that I saw last year. And I have to admit that I'm getting kind of excited about the actual US release. Ok, I'm only excited about seeing it with a good set of subtitles, but it's something, right?



I love the tag line: All Bets Are Off. Get it? They're in VEGAS baby! It's a gambling reference! Man, they're so fucking clever. I wish I was one of those marketing geniuses. I could totally do tag lines for movies. Seriously. Here's a couple just of the top of my head...

Resident Evil: Extinction - This time...it's personal.
Spiderman 3 - This time...it's personal.
You've Got Mail - This time....it's online personals.
Live Free or Die Hard - This time...it's PG-13.

I could totally do that job.


I have no idea what this movie is or is about, but with a poster and title like that...I have to say that I'm at least a little intrigued.

Wouldn't it be fun if I did a whole week of trailers? Day 6

I can't remember if I posted this one already...I tihnk maybe I posted a link. I don't remember. Regardless, as many now I enjoyed BOTH of the previous Resident Evil movies. I thought they were both a lot of fun in very different ways. I don't know why, but I seem to enjoy a lot of the video game adaptations that they've been putting out. Except Doom. Fuck Doom.



Just in case I did post that one in the past...we'll make this a two-fer and give you another trailer. A trailer that creeps me the fuck out. Because, ew, bugs. Yuck. They get on your skin and squirm and crawl over you in your sleep with their dirty little legs poking ever so faintly at you skin. *shudder*

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot

That's hot!

Maybe we should refer to this as an intermission. Regardless, it is time to pause for a moment from 7 Dollar Popcorn Presents the 7 Dollar Popcorn FILMuary Spectacular: 28 Days of Movie Mayhem. Just this once.

I LIKE the Resident Evil movies. Both of them. Love them. I have 2 different versions of the first one. Love the movies. So, needless to say, I'm geeked about RE: Extinction. Geeked I say! I'm looking forward to it like a zombie looks forward to fresh meat.

So, I must admit I was PRETTY FUCKING EXCITED when I saw this. Yeah, Yahoo! has the first teaser for the new movie. And, I think it looks pretty rad!

That's all! Come back tomorrow for part 21 of my 28 part series, 7 Dollar Popcorn Presents the 7 Dollar Popcorn FILMuary Spectacular: 28 Days of Movie Mayhem!

Half circle back, it's always half circle back

I was playing Resident Evil 4 when I hurt my back on Saturday. Well, I was getting up from sitting on the floor. Regardless, yes, I injured myself playing a video game. That's pretty irrelevant, but I figured I'd tell you anyways.

So, while I'm playing, I think to myself, as I often do (because if I weren't thinking it, I'd be talking and there was no one around, I would have been talking to myself, and really it's quieter if I just think it), that it would make a great movie. Then I thought, but most game based movies suck. Why do they suck so much? Wel, I think I kind of have an answer.

Think about it. Games are long. They're kinda convoluted. You keep going back and forth through mazes, fighting bosses and mini bosses and hitting question blocks and collecting coins. Most of this isn't all that exciting to watch. Look through your grandfather's coin collection with him someday, not nearly as exciting as a good Mario game, is it?

There are so many levels. Each level has it's big bosses and fights, but in a movie, it's a bunch of mini climaxes that serve no purpose.

And, the production value has increased in a way that the animation is as good as anything Hollywood is doing and the voice talent is getting better and better. It's almost a shame to use other people!

You can't stick too closely to the game as a result. So, you kind of have to make up your own story in that universe. For some, it works out pretty well. Resident Evil may not be the best movie ever made, but it's not horribly ridiculous, and they're still making them. Silent Hill was pretty good (and will be on DVD in about 2 weeks). Doom, not so much. Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter...okay, fighting games probably shouldn't be made into movies. It's kind of silly to begin with.

I guess we just shouldn't be surprised when a game adaptation turns to shit. I doubt anyone will ever really get it right, though I guess they have to keep trying, but it seems to me that it will alsways be a lost cause.

What about a series of short films? Or 1 hour specials on tv? You could do the level/boss thing pretty well that way. It might make a cool miniseries...you listening HBO?

That's sick

I've been trying to check out the audio commentary on Resident Evil. For some reason, I hadn't done this before. I suppose it's only strange because I really liked this movie and usually that means that I try to check out as much of the special features as I can.

So the commentary has actresses Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, directoy Paul W.S. Anderson and producer Jeremy Bolt. And you know, it's the perfect kind of commentary. You listen to them and can tell they're having fun. The commentary isn't real dry like on some movies, there's a lot of joking around. Milla sounds like Ben Affleck on any of Kevin Smith's commentaries. Rodriguez can't pronounce Jovovich (despite repeated corrections) and also seems to have some sort of fascination with things being "sick". It's sort of like an Anti-Paris Hilton kind of phrase.

It's fun though beacuse they don't just talk about the movie (in fact the hardly talk about the movie), they obviously had fun making it together and the talk about a lot of the background stuff. What they did when they weren't shooting or on set. Hell, Milla even talks about her nipple being on screen.

I guess it's the part of movie making that I'm most curious of at the moment. The peripheral stuff that you don't think about. Going to the bar when you're on location. That's fascinating...but then, I could be a loser who's trying to live vicariously through others.

Brought to you by the letters R and E and Extinction

Look at what I have today...Pictures! Of ladies. Giggity giggity alllllright.

"Look at me...I'm a badass. I have massive knives...or possibly boomerangs that I use to kill zombies. I'm in a desert. I have a bad haircut. I'm gonna stare at you."


"Look at me...I'm a badass. I have some sort of a military uniform. And guns. And sunglasses that I stole from Johnny Knoxville. Look at my boots! I am so tough. Grr."

You need a plan. No, really.

Ok, today I'm going to blantantly STEAL an article from bloody-disgusting.com like it was an mp3:

It was reported today via Production Weekly that Oded Fehr will be returning as Carlos Olivera in the third installment of the Resident Evil franchise. Paul W.S. Anderson returns to write the script for Resident Evil: Extinction, which Russell Mulcahy will helm. And guess what we've got? The official synopsis! Milla Jovovich is back as Alice, and she's running with a new pack of humans, leading a caravan that's cutting through the Nevada desert on a long trek to Alaska. Hunted by the minions of the perpetually scheming Dr. Isaacs, Alice has zombies hungry for her flesh (once again) and lab rats hungry for her blood -- while Alice is hungry for only one thing: revenge. Also joining the cast is Mike Epps and Iain Glen as Dr. Isaacs. Production is scheduled to begin in mid-May in Mexico.

Which is brilliant, but dangerous at the same time. When you think about it zombies don't go into cold areas as much. Why you ask? Well, the food supply is lower for one thing. Everything is so barren and spread out that it can provide a good hideout as well because you can see what's coming at you. It's not the best idea though because if a zombie freezes they can go all Encino Man on you when they thaw. Freezing won't kill them, it only slows them down. It's the same with water, they can't swim but they don't need to breathe, so they can walk along the bottom indefinatly.

It does make me wonder, where is Racoon City to begin with that they have to go through Nevada to get to Alaska. I always thought of Racoon City as being more Midwestern, but what do I know, right? I'm no expert on Resident Evil Mythology, would it be mythology, lore? Trivia? I don't know what the right word would be.

I like the idea of heading for Alaska though. I think it's pretty sound, though it's a long ways to go. At best you'd have to pass through Nevada, Oregon, Washington, then Canada to get to Alaska. Unless you took a boat...

See now, my plan calls for a boat. And deep water. Like I said, zombies can't swim. And they don't float. So, assuming that a zombie would be at best, just under 7 feet tall, then any water over 10 feet deep would be pretty safe. You just have to be careful fishing...

What? Don't look at me like that. You mean you DON'T have a Zombie Survival Plan? That's a mistake. How can you hope to survive if you don't have a plan? Take your chances? Hope for the best? You're screwed man.

More Milla! More ZOMBIES!

I know that not too long ago I mentioned a 3rd Resident Evil movie called Well, since I can't get enough of Milla, here's an update. It's set to begin shooting this year, but they're CHANGING THE NAME. Now being called Resident Evil: Extintion, this new movie will be directed by Russell Mulcahy. Russell who? Remember the first two Highlander movies? Yeah. He directed those. Milla will of course reprise her role and aside from those 3 things, not much else looks to be certain.

It's kind of surprising to me how much I've enjoyed the first two Resident Evil movies becuase I absolutley HATED the video games.

I just hate the fact that I'm going to have to wait until next friggin' year to see it.

More Milla News

Bloody-disgusting.com is reporting that a third Resident Evil is in the works. Titled Resident Evil: Afterlife, Milla will of course be returning and Mike Epps will also be featured. Possible characters include Leon Kennedy and Wekser (from the games).

Paul W.S. Anderson will return to the director's chair after skipping RE: Apocolypse. Anderson is also writing the script. Expect to see this sometime next year.


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