Monster Movie Poster Monday

Dance!

Oh! That reminds me, did you realize that there is a Star Wars animated movie opening the week?

Me either.

Ok, I knew. Let's be honest though, I'm not exactly 'excited'. Not like I was for any of the actual movies. The whole thing feels very...anticlimactic? No, that's not the right word...I'm about as excited as I would be for the release of a new Star Wars book...which is to say that it's pretty meaningless to me.

Monster Movie Poster Monday

Not much to say this week. The poster is pretty sweet though. I would watch this movie based solely on the poster.

“Listen to me,” I say. I shout, “If I wanted to feel anything, I’d go to a frigging movie!”

I really liked the book. In fact, Choke is one of the very few books that I've read more than once as an adult (when I was younger I would read the same books over and over again and enjoy them every time...now, not so much). Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to the movie coming out next month.

7 Things That I Would Steal In The Inevitable Riots That Would Occur Just Before The Apocalypse

I had another one of my brilliant blog-o-scope changing ideas recently. It's called....7 Things. The point of it is to make really useless lists consisting of 7 items. 7 things...7 dollar popcorn...get it*? Good. Besides, there enough lists of 5 and 10 out there, it's time that someone besides the Count** gave the number 7 a little love.

Really, it's more about creating a useful strategy for certain events. Imagine, if you will, that it's kind of like one of those Worst Case Scenario Survival Guides that you see in fine book stores***. Except, you know, written by me. And less informative. And less useful overall. And not it book stores, it's just on your computer.

So, lets start it off with a good one...

7 Things That I Would Steal In The Inevitable Riots That Would Occur Just Before The Apocalypse

1. A can opener

Let the suckers take all the non perishable items from the store. They'll come crawling to you when they can't get them open! Don't go for an electric though, obviously. Also, don't worry about the ones that supposedly don't leave a sharp edges. Fuck that shit. Leave the sharp edges, that way you have a pretty annoying weapon if someone crosses you or tries to steal your can opener.

2. A baseball bat

It's utilitarian. It's light weight. You can kill food with it. You can defend yourself with it. Also, you can play baseball with it. And, you never know, someone may have a ball and glove.

3. A vespa

It's the end of the world, and dammit I've always wanted a fucking Vespa. I'd steal one without even thinking about it. It's a suddenly short amount of time to accomplish all those life goals. Besides, with gas in short supply, getting more than 50 mpg ain't bad.

4. A monkey

Granted, you might have some trouble with this one, but a small monkey that you can train to assist you with mundane tasks like picking fruit could be very useful. And, monkeys look mean when their mad. That could be really useful.

5. Music

Might as well. You've been doing it for years, and now there's no RIAA to sue you. Of course, there may not be a you to sue for much longer so enjoy that new Coldplay record while you can.

6. A pair of really sweet sunglasses

The kind that you always liked but always thought were way overpriced. Grab them now. Everyone knows that sweet shades will get you serious street cred at the end of civilization.

7. A new pair of shoes

A good pair too. There's no reason to have sore feet when the world ends. You can always cook them and eat them too if you have to. Hell, it might be worth it to hoard shoes. They could be the currency of the post apocalyptic world and you could be the first shoe-billionaire.


*I was going to hold off until Friday on this one, but since it's the 7th, it seemed serendipitous
**Crazy purple bastard that he is. 
***This one is anyways. Others may be less like that.

Enough about me. Lets talk about me.

I've made some subtle tweaks to the layout of 7dp. Nothing too big. For the most part I really like the 'rounders' layout that I use and I love the color scheme. But, I can't let it look like so many other blogs out there. So, made a couple changes.

It's wider now.

Yes, that's right! Marvel at the wideness of my page header and the new larger post area place thing! Unless you're using an 800x600 display! In that case, hate me for ruining your 7dp experience! The rest of you should do that marveling thing that I just mentioned.

I know it's a lot, but this is a rapidly changing world and here at 7dp Industries, inc, LLC we strive to keep pace. Well, we strive to keep Pace in the fridge because we really like salsa*. Mmm...nachos.

Of course, looking back at some of my posts, this means that I'm going to have to pay a little bit more attention to formatting, but, I'm ok with that.

So, what do you think of the new layout? Good? Bad? Completely ambivalent because you subscribe to the rss feed and never visit anyways? Was it even worth doing**?

*That might be the worst pun I've ever attempted. I would apologize if I wasn't so impressed by the sheer audacity*** of it.
**The answer, of course, is yes. It makes everything that much more awesome here.
***This might be a misuse of the word 'audacity'. I am, however, okay with that.

This happens a lot actually

It's a strange thing, people talk about things. TV shows, movies, that sort of thing. They talk, endlessly. This blog is an example of that phenomenon, if it can be called such a thing. I suppose we've been doing this forever. Can you imagine, living in a cave, and your neighbor Crag comes over and says 'Grog argg greeef froot ooorrrggg'? And you say 'No, Crag my good sir, I've not seen that particular cave painting. I'll have to check it out some time'

This is the sort of thing that happens, I believe that some would refer to it as 'word of mouth'. Normally though, I try to ignore it. Enough people say to me 'Hey, you should see this. You'd like it.' I usually say, uh-huh sure whatever dude. I'm just not always too interested. Call it independence.  Call it stubbornness. Call it stupidity. Call it whatever the hell you want, it doesn't change the fact that I tend to miss out on things that I would likely enjoy because I don't like people telling me how great things are.

For example, I've been hearing about Firefly for years. Never watched it though. 'Oh, you should watch Firefly, its so great, you'd really like it!' Sure, whatever. So, I never watched it. For years, I never watched. I always figured that if it was on, I would, but I wouldn't go out of my way for it. Then, I was talking to someone about Hulu. And then, I was talking to someone else about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Start seeing how all this word of mouth stuff comes together?

I'm at Hulu, and, they have all the episodes of Firefly. And I watched the first episode. And...it was...it was good. I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed. I was really hoping that I wouldn't like it. Of course, that wasn't the case. It's a good show. Not the best ever made like some people would claim, but it's certainly fun. And, when it comes to television shows, isn't that more than most of them can say? I watched the first episode online, then I got the first disc used from Netflix. Then I found it used on DVD.

I'm halfway through it now and I'm really enjoying it a lot. I like Mal a bit more in the pilot when he was a little more dour, when he wasn't as jokey. It's not to say that I don't like the character the way he is, but I really would have been interested to see how the show would have gone with him as a much more serious person. It would have made for a much more interesting dynamic. At the very least, it would have made him more unique.

What is this all leading to? I don't know. What's next? Don't know that either. What movie or tv show have I been avoiding will I watch next? I have no idea. I'm...I can't believe I'm saying this, but...I'm currently taking suggestions...

Gwangi says AROOOG!

 

Gwangi says Aroog when he's breaking down your door!

 

Gwangi says Aroog when he's spotted by cowboys!

Aroog must have a lot of different meaning.

Shark Week: What I learned

I know I don't usually write anything on the weekends, but I thought it might be fun to look at what I learned from doing Shark Week this year (and last year).

- Made for TV shark movies? Surprisingly good.

- I watched all of the good shark movies in 2007. 2008's selection was not nearly as good or as fun. Not that I expected any of them to be as good as Raging Sharks.

- In the future, I should probably avoid movies with Anthony Fargas.

- If I can find enough movies, I will almost certainly do a Shark Week 09!

That's it. Come back Monday when I'll be back to my usual schedule of...well, probably irregular posting! See you then!

Shark Week: Plenty of 3 but no D.

When I was a kid, in the summer time, the big thing was going to the beach. It was always something to get excited about and brag to your friends about. It was cool, it was special. It was this huge, awesome place where you could run around and swim and sit in the sun and eat sandwiches and then swim again. You sat on towels and had a cooler filled with ice. There was a ritual to it. Going to the beach was akin to something almost mystical. And, growing up on Detroit's east side, you went to Metro Beach.

I haven't been there in years. In fact, I've been there maybe twice since I was a kid, and only once to the actual beach. For some reason though, I stopped up there tonight to be greeted by a sign:

No swimming? What's the point? This awe inspiring place is nothing now. Not through adult eyes. The beach is tiny and dirty and you can't even swim. If you want to go to Metro and go swimming, you have to go in the pool. A pool! At the beach! What a joke!

On more piece of my childhood ruined by reality. I was so depressed that I wanted to go drink! I refrained though. I took the high road. I decided that a shark movie would cheer me up. Something cheesy. Something with bad effects. Something with an implausible story would certainly return the smile to my face. So, I put in Jaws 3.

Lou Gosset Jr, Dennis Quaid, Lea Thompson, a big shark, water skiiers...what more could you want? I mean, the movie really has everything. Well, not really everything. As you probably know, the movie was made to be seen in 3-D, and, unfortunately, it no longer is. As a result the movie is filmed in such a way as to look interesting and exciting IN 3-D. In old fashioned 2-D though, it looks silly and distracting. 

And that the shark is able to eat someone Jonah and the Whale style with the someone fitting fully in the shark's mouth is just silly.

Jaws 3 might, might be fun if you get a chance to actually see it in 3-D. On the old TV, in only 2 dimensions, it's a bucket of suck. It spends too much time trying to do cute 3-D tricks instead of just acting natural and telling it's story. I mean, let's face it, shark run akok in Sea World is an interesting idea. The addition of some dolphin vs shark kung fu only does so much to help it. 5 of Mike Brody's sweat stained shirts out of 10.