Who Would You Cast In The Remake Of My Man Godfrey

As I was getting ready to write yesterday's post about remaking the brilliant 1934 file The Thin Man, I found this half finished post on a similar topic. I was working on writing this in June of 2009 and didn't finish it. I'm sure I got distracted by something much more important and interesting (not really, just lazy). So, I'm going to go ahead and try to finish it, a year and a half later. I'm not going to really change anything that was already done, so that's why a good chunk of it refers to things that happens last year as though they just happened to today. This is kind of like time travel. I'm not going to change the past, I don't want to be my own grandfather!

I don't know if you've ever seen My Man Godfrey. I saw it for the first time almost exactly one year ago. I was in a Los Angeles hotel room, unable to sleep and flipping through channels. I stumbled on a black and white movie starring William Powell. Now, that alone is enough to get me to stop flipping. William Powell was an amazing actor. And, I'll watch anything if he's in it. It was this silly comedy about a rich girl on a scavenger hunt looking for a 'forgotten man'. Someone who'd fallen through the cracks. It's set during the great depression and was a movie that was meant to show the divide between the two worlds. Rich vs poor. It's funny and amazing and I absolutely fell in love with this movie. The only problem was that I had no fucking clue what it was called!

It was two days later that I learned it was My Man Godfrey. I eventually bought the Criterion Collection DVD and have been listening to the commentary on it. It's really a wonderful movie that I just can't recommend enough. However, and I'm being honest here, I think it's ripe for a remake.

Credit where credit is due. It was Caitlin at 1,416 and Counting that left my mind open to this idea. She posted about remakes*, and I took a decidedly rational approach. I know, how dare I! This is the INTAWEBS! Look, I can be as petty and childish as anyone. There are blogs and bloggers that I just plain don't like, and I can be vocal about that. People can get me riled up. Politics can upset me. Remakes I'm okay with.

Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the original. It's a classic in every sense of the word. I think though, that it doesn't resonate in today's world. I think it could actually be remade successfully. You won't get an actor of Powell's caliber for it. And, I don't think you need it. Now, after some thought, I'd like to play a bit of a game. It's a game that I'm calling Who Would You Cast In The Remake? It's actually an old game that my friend and I used to play while watching Godzilla movies and drinking beers.

As you can see, all I really got to was the setup. So, let's pick it up from there.

Let me set the scene for how this all started. Back in the year 2003, my friend and I used to spend our Friday nights watching Godzilla movies. One night, we were watching Godzilla 2000 and noticed something strange. It was uncanny how much some of the actors could be Japanese doppelgangers for American actors.One actor looked like Riker from Star Trek: The Next Generation, one looked like Bruce Campbell, and so on like that**.

Long story slightly less long, I thought it would be fun to try to cast a remake of My Man Godfrey. Now, I'm just going to go for the lead roles, Godfrey and Irene. Let's start, not with Godfrey, but with with Irene Bullock, originally played by the beautiful Carole Lombard. I'm going to try to go with my gut feeling here. I'm not sure she'd be perfect, and it might be a bit unconventional, but I think she could play spoiled brat well in a romantic/screwball comedy. I'm thinking of Kristen Bell.

Of course, the most important role is Godfrey himself. Here you need someone who can exude the affable charm embodied by William Powell. This seems like it would be a tough choice. For some reason though, it's not. There's an actor out there whom I think would be ideal for the role. He's British, but does a perfect American accent and he's an excellent comedic actor. I'm talking about Hugh Laurie. Yeah, the guy who plays Dr. House.

The other great thing about My Man Godfrey is the excellent and eccentric supporting cast. So, play along! Who would YOU cast in these roles?

*Edited to update the link
**It's worth noting the Winona Ryder ALWAYS was always the leading lady.

Remaking The Thin Man

I'm going to let you in on one of my worst kept secrets, I don't generally have a problem with remakes. I'm not a huge fan either. I'd say I'm mostly ambivalent about remakes. Occasionally, they give an interesting and fresh new take on an old idea, more often though, they're a quick way to grab for a little cash. Don't get me wrong, I'd still rather see an original idea than a rehash of something I've seen before, but I understand the desire to play it safe and stick with a known quantity.

I bring this up because I read something earlier:

Johnny Depp May Remake 'The Thin Man' with Rob Marshall - The Moviefone Blog

The film is the four-time Oscar nominated 'The Thin Man,' and according to the rumor mill, Johnny Depp wants to remake it with 'Pirates of the Caribbean 4' and 'Chicago' helmer Rob Marshall.

According to Vulture, Depp is "aggressively courting" Marshall to direct him in a remake of the film with Warner Bros. As of now, there's no script, but they claim that Depp is in full pursuit of making this passion a reality.

Ok. Depp is certainly a fine and interesting actor, but is he the type that could play Nick Charles properly? And who would play Nora Charles?

As a big fan of both Dashiell Hammet's novel and the movie The Thin Man. It's gotten me to thinking. Who in today's Hollywood could play these roles. And that's setting aside the more interesting question of how you could even make this movie in today's politically correct environment. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that that could be a whole post unto itself!

William Powell was, really, an almost perfect choice for the role of Nick Charles.In fact, he was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor for the role! This is where you fall into the remake trap though, these were iconic roles. Both Powell and Myrna Loy were perfectly cast and had great chemistry together (the two were a staple in the 30s and early forties staring in all 6 Thin Man films and 8 other films as well). There is no way to remake a movie like this without inevitable (and probably harsh) comparison to the original.

This is getting away from me here though. What actor in Hollywood today could exude the wit and charm required for Nick Charles? We need someone about the right age, late 30s to early 40s. I'll refrain from saying Keanu Reeves (though I would certainly want to see him try!). Hugh Laurie I think could do it, though he's just outside the age range I'm thinking of. You know who I think would be very good in the role though? Nathan Fillion. Captain Tight Pants himself. I think this would be right in his wheelhouse.

That gets us halfway there. It also gets us to the harder question. Who on Earth could play Nora Charles? In this case we need someone...around let's say 30. Drew Barrymore would have the right look, and she's only 35...not a bad choice, but not the right choice. Zoe Saldana would make for an interesting choice. Katie Holmes perhaps as well, but...still, no. Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway or Rachel McAdams maybe? No. Rachel Weisz would be a good choice, but if I'm eliminating Barrymore based on age, then Weisz is out too (sadly, since she's a large part of what made The Brothers Bloom so fun and charming, IMO). No, I'm going to go with Zooey Deschanel here I think. I'm just playing a hunch here, but I really think she could come closest to pulling the role off.

The question I now pose to you is, how far off do you think I am? And, more interestingly, who would YOU chose for the roles of Nick and Nora Charles?

I would never have imagined a remake could be so good.

It's not uncommon for me to sit around thinking. When I do the whole thinking thing, it's not uncommon for me to wonder about movies. And before my head starts to hurt from the effort, it seems that something might pop into my head. Something like 'When the FUCK is [REC] going to get a release over here???' I actually do think with multiple question marks, too.

I think it's a valid question though. I mean, it was REMADE, released, then put out on DVD as Quarantine already. Where is the original? Usually the original is better than the remake, and if [REC] is better than Quarantine then I HAVE to see it, because Quarantine was pretty gorram amazing.

Quarantine has a pretty simple premise. A news crew is doing a feature on firefighters, so they're tagging along for the night. They get a call at an apartment building managed by Boris the Blade. A lady upstairs let out a blood-curdling scream, so they called 911.The police and fire crews don't know much about it, but someone outside does. The place gets sealed up like a dolphin's butt and they cut the cable and jam the phones. Guys with big guns threaten them if they look out the window. It's that kind of a lockdown.

So, you've got a sick old lady, a bitten cop, and a vet. Not a war vet. No, that might be handy. No, this is the 'How's your cat today Mrs Johnson?' kind. And he keeps busy. Especially since it all starts to go to hell when the firman goes over the railing and lands four stories down. Presumably, the old lady threw him. Luckily, one of the tennants has a lot of painkillers on hand.

Like I said, everything kind of goes to hell. The building is apparently infected by a weird zombie/rabies/plague that is infecting everyone, mostly through biting. It's all pretty intense.

I have to say, Quarantine really kind of does everything right. It has the kind of tension that you want from a horror movie. It starts slow and light. It's clearly a fluff piece that the reporter is working on, and as the movie goes, she becomes more serious. Everything just keeps building and building. As the 'first-person' style of movie becomes more fashionable and more common, it becomes less interesting. Few movies do it well. They have lousy reasons for having a camera, and even worse reasons for continuing to film, but Quarantine gives them a reason not just to be there, but a reason to keep filming. Once they're locked inside, even the cop in there with them wants them to keep filming. That this is not only newsworthy, but important is not lost on anyone.

Ju-On, if anyone asks, is my default answer for the scariest movie I've seen. That kid still creeps me out, even after 3-4 viewings. Quarantine might be the second or third on that list though. This is one remake that I have to assume that they got absolutely right.

I <3 Remakes

Seriously. I'm starting to come around. I'm starting to think that EVERY movie should be a remake. Come on guys, they're just movies. It's not like someone is coming in and retaking your family vacation pictures with fancy new digital cameras and hot young actors. No one is trying to take you and your mom out of those old Christmas photos and replace you guys with Angelina Jolie and the kid from Harry Potter. Even if they should! I mean, I've seen your old Christmas photos, not pretty dude.

Like I said, they're just movies. Who cares? Maybe when it was made originally, those were just the best available choices. Maybe now is the right time for a remake of The Godfather directed by Paul WS Anderson and starring Jack Black. Why not give it a shot and see how it works?

Hell, I know that all you movie nerds think De Niro is 'teh bestez evarz' but I don't see why Ryan Reynolds couldn't be an even better Travis Bickle*.

Hell, aren't you ready for a Jaws remake?

But those are movies from the 70's! Why wait so long? Think about what Jurassic Park did with technology from 93, just imagine how amazing an updated version could be. I mean, hell, it was 15 years ago when it came out! Who remembers anything from that long ago?

Why not an all CGI Dark Crystal? Think about how amazing that would be! I mean, come on, it's puppets! And that Henson was a no talent hack anyways.

Or, hell, everyone loved The 40 Year Old Virgin, let's remake that. I know it's only a couple years old, but...fuck it! It was hilarious! Why not make a new version of it EVERY YEAR? It would be a guaranteed money maker!

What about you guys? What's your dream remake? Let's hear them in the comments!


*All I'm saying is that Ryan Reynolds might be the greatest actor of our generation. Seriously.

It's more of a public service announcement

Last night I was afforded the...and I use this term lightly...opportunity to see the remake of Day of the Dead. I say 'remake' because that's what the called it. Make no mistake though, this is not really a remake. This is an entirely different movie with very few similarities to the original. In fact, let's count them...the title....um...the both have military personnel...and...um...well, that's really about it.

And, the fact of the matter is...the movie is BAD. And not in the kind of way that Raging Sharks or Octopus 2: River of Fear or Shark Attack 3:Megaladon is bad. No. There is no enjoyment to be found here. The only fun part about it is talking about how bad it is. The movie just...makes no sense. It's fucking ridiculous. And, it made me wish I was doing any number of things that would have been much more interesting or fun...

I could have been watching House of the Dead...(yes, this movie actually made me wish I was watching a Uwe Boll movie...)

I could have been doing laundry...and counting the number of times that the machine spins the laundry around during the wash cycle...

I could have been counting the blades of grass outside my apartment building...

I could have compiled a list of things that would be more fun that the movie...

I could have watched someone play Knights of the Old Republic II...

Any of these would have been more interesting than Day of the Dead. It was so bad that I consider it my duty to warn everyone I know to stay away from this movie. Just ignore it. Pretend it doesn't exist. If you see it on the street, and it comes up to you claiming to be an old friend, lie and say you went to school in Saskatchewan and it couldn't have possibly been you that it loaned that money to.

I just pitched a remake of citizen cane to the studios starring Bruce Willis as Rosebud.

Bloody Disgusting is saying that Keanu Reeves is signed up to do a remake of the cold war science fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still.

In what promises to be a most TRIUMPHANT movie, Keanu Reeves will play Klaatu, a man from another world, and with his robot Gort, they tour the galaxy as Wyld Stallions! EXCELLENT!

You take a movie that was, not only excellent, but so relevant to its time, and update it...what are you going to end up with? Another classic? Unlikely.

More likely is that you end up with a movie that is at best mildly entertaining, but no longer relevant. At worst, you end up with Peter Jackson's King Kong or Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes.

What these film makers SHOULD be doing is remaking SHITTY movies. Think about it, Steven Speilberg remaking Manos: The Hands of Fate. Or, why can't someone remake Wasp Woman (the original was good, but there'd be no one crying if they tried to do a new version of it today, right?). Sure, I know that no one liked them the first time, why give it a second shot, right? Maybe the timing was wrong. Maybe the wrong person was at the helm. (Just think of what Event Horizon could have been like with a competent director.) I just think rather than shitting on the movies I love, maybe someone should take a stab at the movies I hated. I mean, it is all about me after all, isn't it?

File Under: Who the fuck thought this would be a good idea??

Today's "Wait a minute. What? Why?" moment comes from Bloody-Disgusting.com:

Today it was announced in Variety that Battlestar Gallactica creator Ronald D. Moore will begin working on a new take on The Thing. Unfortunately that is all the news regarding the remake that they have released regarding that project. We have known it was coming and it is indeed a ways off still so it should come as no shock.

Moore seems to have experience in the sci fi genre so will he be able to capture the essence of the body jumping creatures from the arctic? Unfortunately only time will tell. At this point he also has a sequel for I,Robot that he is working on so it could be even longer than usual. Only time will tell.

Ok. Let me get this straight. Ron Moore is going to write a remake of a remake? While I can appreciate that it's Ron Moore doing it (I mean, Battlestar is pretty fucking rad, ya know) I just can't understand why this needs to be done? Is the movie going public really clamoring for this? Somehow, I doubt it. The Thing is a great fucking movie. And personally, I'd rather see Moore work on the I,Robot sequel (please, Ron, if you read this, write it WITHOUT Will Smith's character. PLEASE? I'll love you forever..).

It doesn't matter, does it? What the public wants, I mean. It doesn't occur to the Hollywood execs to ask and wonder about that anymore, does it? Anymore...did it ever?

In which an otherwise enjoyable movie is ruined by an inexplicable ending

I watched Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes last night. I had never really been incredibly interested in seeing it. I mean, I liked the original. I'm not a huge remake fan (sorry, it was a re-imagining), nor am I incredibly into Tim Burton's movies. So, as I'm sure you can tell, I wasn't in a great hurry to see the movie. Hell, I only picked it up because it was free (buy 2, get 1 free (I also picked up Constantine and Lake Placid for the curious)).

That said, hell, I liked it well enough. It was entertaining, in a 'I like Chuck Heston more than anyone else in this movie' kind of way. I just had, really, a few questions.

1) Why was Thade always so pissed off? Every time he spoke, he was growling. He just sounded mean and, as a character, completely unsympathetic. The most intimidating characters are never the ones who are just full out bad. The really good bad guys are the ones that you can see their side a little. When you start to sympathize with the villain, and you start to see a little of yourself in him, that's when the bad guy gets interesting. There are, of course, exceptions. Zombies, velociraptors, sharks. They don't care if you sympathize with them. They will just fuck your shit up. This is because, unlike humans and the apes in the movie, they don't posses the same cognitive abilities as us. Therefore, while a possible exception, they are excluded from the category. Once again proving that Darth Vader is the ultimate badass.

2) When the humans, led by Marky Mark, are trying to escape Apeville, why do they run through everyone's bedrooms? Wouldn't there be a more direct route through town? One that didn't involve waking everyone up? Sure, I understand the desire to stay off the road so that the Ring Wraiths don't find you, but surely there is an alley or something. It just seems silly to have to go through so many bedrooms.

3) Why bother rescuing the little girl? She only gets sent back to the house anyways, and is never mentioned again. It's like making yourself a really nice dinner and then throwing it out because you weren't really that hungry in the first place. One could simply have removed the three scenes involving the little girl and made the same movie. The story would not have been any different.

4) Why did Helena Bonham Carter look so good while made up to look like a monkey? She looked hotter than she does as a human. What kind of weird bestiality fetish is Tim Burton trying to inspire?

5) Alright, yeah, the ending. Holy crap, what was that? It's one thing to do a twist ending and then let the audience put the pieces together, it a whole other thing to say 'Here you go! I'll explain what happened if we do a sequel!' It's as bad as declaring Darth Vader the ultimate badass when you've done nothing to support the argument.

And, while the ending is a bit of a puzzle, and lord knows I like a puzzle, the movie itself wasn't good enough to warrant trying to figure it out. There's a big difference between making the audience think and telling the audience 'fuck you. figure it out yourself jackass'. Unfortunately, the ending seems to fall into that second camp.

Imagine a crossword puzzle. 5 across reads: 5 letter word for monkey. You know from reading that that the answer is chimp. However, there are only 4 boxes. The puzzle isn't able to be solved because you are automatically disqualified from giving the correct answer before you start. That is what the movie was like.