The Worst Movies That I Saw This Year

We looked at my favorite movies yesterday, now for the fun part. The ones I hated. A lot of people are going to disagree with me on some of these. Same order as before, the order I saw them.

No Country For Old Men
I think that everyone I've talked to about this one has liked it. I didn't. Go figure.

Day of the Dead
If this were in order, this would be at the top. One of the worst movies I've seen in ANY year. It's Ultraviolet bad.

The Dark Knight
Sorry, kids. I just didn't like it. You can call me an idiot if you want, but...I still won't like it.

Into the Wild
Read the book if you're really interested in this story. It's better.

The Black Dahlia
The movie is as awful as the book is great.

The Best Movies That I Saw This Year

Title says it all, doesn't it? These are the best movies that I saw this year. Well, either the best or the ones I liked the most. Some people won't agree with me, actually most people won't agree with me. That's okay. I'll admit that I probably didn't see enough movies to make a list that everyone would even have a chance of agreeing on. And, really, if you want to argue with me, just wait until I tell you what movies I thought were the worst (we'll save that for tomorrow).

Here we go, in the order that I saw them:

Doomsday

Right At Your Door (I admit 2 things here... 1. It did not come out this year. I never said they all did. And B. I never wrote about it. Which is a shame. I really liked it and I wish I had said something about it)

The Orphanage

Wall-E

The Strangers

The Signal 

Son of Rambow

Let the Right One In

Persepolis

So...9. The 9 best movies I saw in 2008.

Tomorrow...the ones I hated.

Where the hell has the time gone?

I'm sitting around, trying to enjoy the secular, commercialized, Anericanized holiday like I do every year. Just sitting around, taking it easy. Clearing out the old mental inventory of everything that has happened over the past year. Relaxing and watching movies.

Movies.

Oh shit! I write about movies!

I forgot for a minute there. So, in the interest of just playing catch up...here for you is my holiday viewing:

Traitor:

 

I liked it. It wasn't what I was expecting though. It was much slower and less action than the ads would have led me to believe. It was a different take on the terrorism theme though and showed the Islamic faith in a much more favorable light than American movies usually do. 

Speaking of movies that weren't what I was expecting...

There Will Be Blood:

Not that I really knew what to expect from this one. It was certainly interesting though. Very dark, and a great performance by Daniel Day Lewis. I think I liked it. I'm not sure though.

CJ7:

 

Honestly, it's not a bad movie. It was even fairly enjoyable in a way. In the end though, I just didn't feel like it was a good movie.

It had a trailer though that reminded me that I really wanted to see

Persepolis:

 It was pretty amazing, as movies go. A really interesting story from a perspective you don't often see.

Zombies Anonymous (formerly Last Rights of the Dead):

 

 Cheaply made and it shows. Unlikable characters, lousy actors and a story that doesn't make a lot of sense. Not the worst way to spend an hour and a half, but it felt like it should have been over after an hour.

Kiss Me Deadly:

 

Aside from the fact that Ralph Meeker looks alike like Bill Paxton, which distracted me, it was a pretty good movie.

Last but not least...

The Long Goodbye:

 

Honestly, I just can't decide if I liked it or not. I have a deep affinity for the Raymond Chandler novel and character and it just seems like too far of a departure from the source. On the other hand, it's an interesting take on the hard boiled detective story.

Ok. I think that catches me up.

Second verse same as the first but a little bit louder and a little bit worse.

I really liked the first installment of James Gunn's PG Porn. The new one? Um...less so. It's a multi-parter though, so, we'll see what happens in part 2, but the first part isn't nearly as funny as the last episode.



Oh...yeah, I expect you to watch it anyways.

I don't actually have many problems with the movie...

I like Jurassic Park 3. I like it a lot. Really, I only have 1 problem with it.

Naturally, my problem is the event that sets everything in motion. What the fuck happened to the guys on the boat? They go into the fog, and then they're gone, and it's never said or even really implied as to what got them...unless I missed it. Repeatedly.

The Best Vampire Movie In Theatres Right Now

I don't often get really excited about a movie. There are very few 'must see' type movies in my life. It's not that I don't get excited about seeing a movie, or look forward to them, it's just that...well, it's hard to explain. I'm just not usually in any hurry to see a specific movie. I watch things when I get to them. Let The Right One In became a must see for me.

As we've previously established, I live in the decaying city of Detroit. And, while many independent and foreign movies do play here, some don't. Let The Right One In is one that isn't playing here. Oh well, right? I'll just have to wait for the DVD and see it at some point. No big deal, I've done that countless times before.

But wait! It's playing in Salt Lake City! And, wouldn't you know, that's where I was going for vacation! You know what that means, right? I have to see it while I'm there. This is fate. This is out of my hands. There's nothing I can do other than talk people into going to see it with me.

And such it was that I convinced my cousin and two of her friends to go see Let The Right One In with me. It's amazing how persuasive the phrase 'Swedish vampire movie' is.

Oskar is about 12. He doesn't have a lot of friends. He's picked on at school. It's a pretty sad state of affairs for him. Living next door to him is Eli, a girl who looks to be about his age. She just moved in. And she tells Oskar that they can't be friends. The first time they meet! Just like that. "I can't be your friend"

Of course, Oskar and Eli do become friends. And it's this relationship that is the focus of the movie. Eli teaches Oskar to fight back against the bullies and Oskar learns that Eli is a vampire. One could even infer that they fall in love.

Let The Right One In is not a movie made for an American audience. Pretty shocking considering that it's a foreign movie, right? There are elements of the movie that an American director would simply not be allowed to do.

The movie is sad, brutal, and simply put, pretty amazing. I absolutely loved the movie. It's not something that I would want to watch over and over again like some movies, but it's definitly something that warrants a second viewing. It's not just a movie about vampires, though it's definitly a vampire movie, and it's not just a movie about relationships and young love, though there's plenty of that as well.

I'm glad I was someplace where this movie played. I'm glad I got to see it. I don't know that everyone will like this movie, but I sure as hell did.

Okay. Time to get back in the swing of things.

Take two down on their luck 28 year old's and have them go to their 10 year high school reunion. Have them meet a gay porn actor and then, after the reunion have your intrepid stars lose their utilities. It's these desperate times that give them the idea to make a porno. It's really a story as old as time itself. When the going gets tough...fuck for money.

Zack and Miri is a romantic comedy, an incredibly crude and vulgar one, but still a romantic comedy. You know how it ends before it begins. Crude and vulgar are probably Smith's biggest hallmarks at this point. And, I think it works here.

Now, I've never been one to hide my Kevin Smith fandom. I think he makes some damn funny movies. They aren't all perfect, but I can certainly say that I enjoyed more of them than I disliked. Zack and Miri Make A Porno was no exception. And, I would say that would be typical among the other reviews that I've read. People who like his movies have tended to enjoy this one. People who haven't liked his movies in the past don't like this one either.

One More Video

Those are very nice armadillos...do they come in silver?

Rather than pretending that I could write anything coherent today (that doesn't have to do with me complaining about getting IDed to buy cold medicine), I'm posting a Star Wars video. Imagine if...Star Wars were a silent film...

Monster Movie Poster Monday

I'm not usually one for taking vacations. I take my time off of work, don't get me wrong, but it's rare for me to go out of town or anything. I mean, I travel a lot for work, why would I do it for fun?

I guess because it is fun. It was nice to get out of Detroit for a few days and go out to Salt Lake City. I had a really good time. I came back sick, but I had fun while I was out there. Getting sick when I got home is the bad part though. I mean, who wants to be sick when they're on vacation? Seriously. This sucks.

So, here I am, hopped up on cold medication hoping that I come off as coherent this week. I don't want to make excuses for my writing, I mean, I know it's not great on a good day, but if it makes less sense than usual, you can blame me for filling myself with more over the counter medications than a meth lab.

And, I know I've posted a Rodan poster before (as part of my review), this one is slightly different though. And, it's pretty f-n sweet. Rodan is available as part of a two pack now with War of the Gargantuas. It's a nice little set but devoid of special features, which really sucks. I mean, if two movies ver really cried out for a making of or commentary, it's these two.

What I would do if I won the lottery.

I was watching War of the Gargantuas the other day and remembered something. One of my dreams. One of those goals that is only ever going to exist in a 'what if' scenario. A scenario like...What If I Won The Lottery.

If I won the lottery, I think I would have to hire a Hollywood model making company to create a scale replica of downtown Detroit. Basically, I would want the Renaissance Center to be about...oh...waist high, and everything else to be proportionate.

The roads would need to be widened. I would need them to be wide enough for a person to walk down. That way, one could stroll the streets of Detroit. Taking pictures perhaps of this tiny metropolis. Maybe it could be used for movies. Or a sort of tourist attraction. Either of those would be pretty cool, though not why I'd want to build it.

No. Of course not. Where's the fun in that? There is only one reason anyone could possibly want a scale replica of a city...to destroy it.

How could someone NOT want to rampage through a miniature city? I look at model trains and all I can think about is how cool it would be to stomp through them. Is there anything that looks like it would be more fun? Maybe it's just me...me and a steady stream of old Toho movies...but this is my dream. This is what I want more than anything, except for all the other, more realistic things I want.

Of course, if I won the lottery...I could build TWO mini Detroits...you know, so I could blow the other one up...that would be cool, too.

Monster Movie Poster Monday