Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Yeah, I've been trying to catch up on my movie watching lately. The sad part is that I still have like 75 movie to watch, just in my collection. I either need to stop adding to it, or admit I have a problem.
Infection. I knew nothing about it when I bought it. Only that it was an Asian horror movie and that was enough for me. Oddly enough, that's how I bought Spider Forest, too...
Infection takes place in a poorly funded hospital that is miraculously operating with 3 doctors and 3 nurses and a half dozen patients. IN THE ENTIRE PLACE. And then a patient dies. How, you ask? He was injected with calcium chlorate or some such thing. *gasp* Didn't the doctor ask for calcium chloride? No one knows. Time to hide the body!
Than an ambulance tries to drop off an infectious patient, but the doctor says, no, you can't leave him. Then the doctor leaves to do something else. Then a nurse sees that the ambulance driver LEFT the patient in the hallway. And I swear to you, it keeps going on like this.
I'll skip the rest of the story for you and get to what REALLY bothered me. You read that right, the story made sense until I started writing about it. It's in retrospect that it's bothering me. What I didn't get was the ending. They went for a sort of twist ending. Then they tried to do a twist on that, and then switched it up again. And WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THE KID?
All of this got my friend and I thinking. What if the movies being brought over here are really their crap? Kind of like if we translated and released House of the Dead in Japan. So, what if there's a bunch of people over in Japan talking about how GREAT some of these movies are and laughing as we watch them. Because, lets be honest, one of the biggest problems I've seen is that the endings in a lot of these movies don't make a much fucking sense.
The saddest part of all of this? I can sit here and bitch about it forever, but I really kind of liked Infection.
I think I have a problem.
You know, for being 52 years old now, it's held up really well. I mean, sure, over the years movie making has changed quite a bit, and it would never look like this now, but over all, it was a really good movie that I couldn't understand WHY I'd never seen. And the tone of the film is just so different from modern Godzilla movies. If you watch Final Wars it's much more comic book-y, where the original had such a serious feeling to it.
But it HAD to be serious. Less than a decade prior, Japan had 2 nuclear weapons detonated on them. Everything from the monster to the oxygen destroyer was ultimatly a critique of nuclear weapons.
I can't imagine what it would have been like though to see this in 54. though, if I ever get a time machine, I'd like to find out.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Bloody-Disgusting.com posted the poster for the remake of Day of the Dead, and when I saw it, the first thing I thought was "Wow, ripping off land of the dead a little?" Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just the HAND IN THE MIDDLE, but I think it looks oddly similar.
What surprising is that the review doesn't really find a whole lot of fault with the movie. Yeah, its all been done before, sure. I'm not sure that that should be the only thing that we look at though. I mean, isn't the ability to entertain more important? It has to be, otherwise there'd be no reason for all the remakes. So, originality can't be the only criteria for a good movie.
But, whatever. I'm sure Mansquito was great.
Truth is, I got to see Tamara last weekend. And, sure, it was nothing spectacular, but I enjoyed it. It was a fun movie. The dialouge and acting could have been a hell of a lot worse. I was a bit disapointed with the lack of nudity, but no movie is perfect. The mind control part of it was well done. It was a good movie I thought. But what the hell do I know? I just watch this stuff and write in a dumb blog that no one reads. I don't really "review" movies. I'm not interested in it. I'll leave that to the critics. I'm just going to sit and watch what I want to watch.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade came out in 1989. 17 years ago. By the time the new one comes out, enough time will have passed for kids to have been born and gone on to graduate high school.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Indiana Jones movies. And 10 years ago, I would have LOVED to have seen a new one. But, that was 10 years ago. With every year since then it has seemed like a worse and worse idea.
Of course, Harrison Ford says he's still in good enough shape to play Indy. Good for him. I don't believe him for second, but if he is, good for him.
Fact of the matter is that I just don't want to see Indiana Jones as an old man. And Ford's age would have to impact the story. That means that the movie would take place in the late forties or fifties. That means no Nazi's. And if Temple of Doom proved anything, it was that Indy was at his best fighting Nazis.
Why not cast somebody else? It worked for James Bond? Sean Patrick Flanery wasn't bad as young Indy, he could take over the role. Or, I don't know. Someone. Something.
At the same time though, I guess you have to give everyone some credit since Lucas and Speilberg and both back and so is Ford. Maybe this will be one of the few times where something like this works out. Of course, it could be Episode I all over again.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
It feels a lot like 2006 could end up being a very good year for movies. It just seems like there's more to look forward to this year than most. I've got Ultraviolet coming out on the 3rd. Silent Hill in April. May is X3. And then on July 7th...A Scanner Darkly. And these are just the ones at the top of my head. I know too that there a couple of asian movies I'm hoping to check out, R-Point and The Booth. Not to mention that Azumi is getting a theatrical release here this year (finally). And Night Watch, now that it's been released in theaters should hit DVD in a couple months.
And these are just some of the ones I know of already. Every year there are plenty of movies that seem to come out of nowhere on me that I end up loving. High Tension last year for example. Or Oldboy.
There's a new trailer out for A Scanner Darlky (in quicktime), and that got me kind of thinking about this years slate of films I guess.
So, will 2006 be a great year for American movies? God I hope so. I know 2 of 2005's top movies were terrible. So, I can only hope this year's big ones are better.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
You watch a movie sometimes and it makes you feel sorry for the actors, but jealous at the same time. Ok. *I* watch movies and feel sorry for and jealous of the actors.
Chupacabra Terror is on SciFi right now...starring of all people John Rhys-Davies. You know Sallah...Gimli....dude just breathes class to me. I don't know what it is about him, but just screams classiness. And I'm so sorry to see him in this awful movie. At the same time, I feel bad for Chelan Simmons, who I'd never head of prior to this. She's really kind of hot sometimes, and really kind of not at others. I dunno, she should have been a redhead.
I watch this movie though, and I wonder what would make an actor like Rhys-Davies sign on to a movie like this. It couldn't be the paycheck. I mean the's no way he could have been payed as much for this straight-to-video cheesefest as making Indiana Jones or Lord of the Rings. It couldn't have been the script. It couldn't have been the chance to work with some amazing actor or director. Was it just that someone was awfuly passionate about making this movie? Someone so sure of themselves and so charming that they could have talked the pope into a cameo in The Last Temptation of Christ?
Some mysyeries may never be solved I guess.
Like how the hell do the captain, his daughter and the insurance investigator all end up on a rescue boat with no one else on it. How did it get there? How is it going to get back?
But it all makes me jealous at the same time. There's something about movies like this that just look like they'd be so much FUN to be a part of. To be the marine who's ripped in half with his guts spewed across the floor. I could be a bad actor. I've done it before. *sigh*
I could be that guy who's always in these movies who's half drunk at a party or at work who sees the monster and provokes it, accidently setting it free and being the first kill. I could SO be that guy.
Are you ready to...I dunno, rumble I guess? I noticed today that there are a lot of similarities between Kristen Bell and myself. No really. I mean sure, she's a she and I'm, well, not...but there are quite a few. Let's go to tape...
She was born in 1980, so was I (I'm older though). She was raised in the sububs of Detroit. I was raised in Detroit and then in the suburbs. She went to high school in Royal Oak, I used to hang out in Royal Oak when I was in high school. She played Dorothy in a high school production of The Wizard of Oz. I played the shop teacher in my high schools production of The Late Great Me (I was also a greaser in our pruduction of Rumblefish). She plays the main caracter on the tv show Veronica Mars, I watch tv. She's on the cover of the March 2006 edition of Maxim, I will probably buy it. She is signed on to do a movie called Fanboys, about a group of people making a cross country trip to see Star Wars: Episode I at George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch. I was one of those geeks who camped out in front of the movie theater to see Episode I. She is hot, I am...well, I'm not ugly, but there's a reason it's her picture on this post and not mine.
So, you see, we're practically the same person. And notice, much like Michael and Latoya, you never see Kristen and I in the same place at the same time...you never know, we could BE the same person*.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I don't know what's sexier, Rob's bars and stars eye patch or the chick's tooth gap. That photo from 2001 Maniacs just screams down home lovin'.
This Indian director T Rajeevnath is making a movie about Mother Theresa (the nun. You remember her, right? Of course. Nice lady from what I hear).
Let's be honest here. Normally I wouldn't give a shit about something like this. Big deal, right? Well, guess who he wants to play Mother Theresa.
Give up? I'll give you a clue...her picture is to the left. Yeah. Paris Hilton (you know, the slut who's sex video you downloaded a couple years ago. Don't deny it. It's ok. I downloaded it too.).
He says his representatives have contacted Ms. Hilton, though he makes no mention of whether or not he's seen House of Wax.
Apparently, he was impressed when she turned down Playboy. Frankly, I lost some respect for her over that. After the video, it's nothing the world hasn't seen, so it's basically free money. And, besides that, Playboy would probably be the classiest thing she's ever done.
I hope she gets the part. I think it would be the best casting decision since someone let Keanu do Shakespeare. Yeah, I watched it. I've seen Shakespeare plays too. What? I got class, shut up.
How come the British get a nifty new 2 Disc Special Edition of Martin and here in America, we don't? Huh? Can someone answer that for me? What makes them so damned special?
I mean, I'm from the Midwest, Romero's from the Midwest. Shouldn't we be first in line for something like this? I'm not upset about the 2 Disc Day of the Dead that they're getting, I don't think it's as good as the Anchor Bay release that we got (there's not even a Romero commentary on theirs...). But, where is Anchor Bay on Martin? C'mon. We need lovin' in the states too. You can't let the Brits have all the good stuff.
Battlestar Galactica's Kattee Sackhoff and Firefly's Nathan Fillion will star in White Noise 2: The Light. The question now is, did White Noise really need a sequel? You tell me, I never saw the first one. It didn't look very interesting to me. Though, I suppose if it was worth making a sequel for House of the Dead, any thing can get a sequel.
Monday, February 13, 2006
If I told you that there was an Asian movie coming out about hair extensions attacking their wearer, what would you think of? That lady you saw at the mall last weekend? Or maybe the tranny you saw on the Jerry Springer Show?
Personally, I think of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Know why? Because it's fucking ridiculous. And if it's done right, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, Exte could be a hell of a ride.
Chiaki Kuriyama will be starring in itand it's being directed by Shion Sono. He did a movie a few years back that you may have heard of, Suicide Circle. What do you mean, no? Well go rent it. Buy it. Find it on Netflix. I don't care, but go check it out.
There's a trailer for a British horror movie called Broken over on Twitchfilm.net. Aside from looking at least a little fucked up, it looks pretty damned good.
I don't buy into the "based on a true story" shit, but aside from that...there's something about it that looks like it could be a fun movie.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Despite being British, I somehow do not find Gary Oldman to be very convincing when he plays an Englishman. I don't know why. On top of that, Billy Zane, trying to sound British, sounds like he listened to a few hours of Beatles interviews to learn the accent. These were a couple of the nitpicky little problems I had with the movie Dead Fish. Just little nipicky things, every movie has them. You can find flaws in any movie if you look for them.
The movie had a slightly confusing story where Abe is arguing with his girlfriend Mimi. Mimi borrows Abe's phone and bumps into Lynch. They accidently switch phones without realizing it and Lynch instantly is smitten with Mimi. Well, Lynch is a hitman and Abe accidently takes one of his jobs. This leads to a series of confrontations between Abe and Lynch as well as loan shark Danny Devine (played amazingly well by Robert Carlyle).
In the end, the movie does a good job of answering all the questions you might have and wrapping up all of the little subplots. So, on a scale of Revolver to Snatch I rate it about Layer Cake.
Maybe I should come up with some sort of real scale...
House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim. It was better than the original. Now, that said, it doesn't say a whole lot. I liked it though. It was a fun, cheesy, it's-saturday-afternoon-and- theres-nothing-else-on kind of movie. I'm ok with that. There's a certain amount of joy you need to be able to get from a bad movie in order to enjoy it. And it was bad. This is not a movie that is going to win any awards. It's cheesy, poorly written, poorly produced and poorly acted..but that's what makes it fun. I liked it for the same reasons I liked Dead Alive, simply because it's so bad but so fun. And for as much as I hated the first House of the Dead it was a sigh of relief to actually enjoy this one.
No Uwe, no intercut video game clips, just a fun, mindless movie. Don't get me wrong, I could sit here for hours and list the problems I had with it, but that's not the point. I knew it was going to be flawed to begin with.
The biggest question I have though is why the hell does Sid Haig keep popping up in movies? What's so great about this guy? Why am I supposed to care? Just, someone, please explain the fascination with him. Please.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
There are times when I hear about an upcoming movie and think to myself "What? Why? Who the hell wants to see that?"
Sometimes I'm proven wrong. Sometimes I change my mind (House of the Dead 2...it's gonna suck, but I want to see it.)
More often than not though, I continue to scratch my head every time I hear more about it.
So, I wonder today, what the hell is the point of making Rambo IV? Does anyone really care? I mean, Stalone has to be what, a million years old now. Does anyone really feel a need to see their grandfather running through the woods firing an M60? What's he gonna do, shoot two guys and pick up his oxygen mask because he's winded? Is he fighting with terrorists over a coupon for the early bird dinner special? Or perhaps it will be a fight on the behalf of mall walkers everywhere. Has he looked into getting it sponsored by the AARP?
The last Rambo movie came out in 1988. That was 18 years ago. There's no point now in making another one. I feel the same way about the new Rocky movie that he's working on. I just don't get it. Is Hollywood so lacking of ideas that they can only remake other movies and television shows and make sequels? Are we as an audience that unwillingly to take a chance on something different (I know the answer to that one...yes).
The sad thing is, I'll bet this does great at the box office.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
You know, Hogfather was the first Discworld novel that I read.
That said, I'm really looking forward to Saturday's SciFi Channel premiere of House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe I have faith that they will churn out a good sequel. Maybe I enjoy a bad movie from time to time. Maybe I hate myself and seek punishment. Maybe I'm something of a mental masochist and get pleasure from inflicting the worst of movies upon my poor brain. I couldn't tell you. I only know that I don't think I could be any more excited about it.
Worst case scenario, it's as bad as the first. Ok, I sat through that one, I may as well check this one out. Hell, for as bad as the first movie was the sequel can't be any worse.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
I know that not too long ago I mentioned a 3rd Resident Evil movie called Well, since I can't get enough of Milla, here's an update. It's set to begin shooting this year, but they're CHANGING THE NAME. Now being called Resident Evil: Extintion, this new movie will be directed by Russell Mulcahy. Russell who? Remember the first two Highlander movies? Yeah. He directed those. Milla will of course reprise her role and aside from those 3 things, not much else looks to be certain.
It's kind of surprising to me how much I've enjoyed the first two Resident Evil movies becuase I absolutley HATED the video games.
I just hate the fact that I'm going to have to wait until next friggin' year to see it.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Over on the Lady Vengeance Myspace page you can download a selection of Lady Vengeance wallpapers for your little computer there.
Go on. You know you want to.
If, like me, you have been crossing off the days on your calender until the August release ot the Pang Borthers' American debut The Messengers...well you might want to buy another marker.
It seems that, for what I hope ends up being a good reason, the realease has been pushed back until January of 2007.
I don't know if I can wait that long.
Sure, M:I 3 and Cars and V for Vendetta all got commericals during last Sunday's Super Bowl, but where was the commercial for UltraViolet???
Originally scheduled for a Feb 24th release, it's now been pushed back a week till March 3rd.
The real question is...when can we expect to see a little advertising for it?
Last July, those crazy Brits released a movie called The Descent. Honestly, it wasn't bad. A group of female adventure seekers go spelunking. Yes? The premise is that this group does this sort of thing semi-annually. Cave diving, white water rafting. So, the mostly British cast travels to America to go explore a cave.
Sounds like a great plan until they go into a different cave than they had intended. An unmapped cave. And no one outside the cave knew where they were!
Things go downhill from there. They get injured. Someone dies. Someone gets attacked by a prehistoric blind monster man. All of a sudden it's every woman for herself!
Really though, it was pretty good. Slightly unbelievable (I mean 6 or 7 girls, spending a night in a cabin, no pillow fight? When has that EVER happened in reality?).
And now, well, eventually, it's coming to America. The Descent is currently slated for an August release. August. Over a year after it's British premiere.
This is why I'm in favor of importing movies.
There's a nice little article about smoking over at the Guardian. Less about smoking maybe and more about the craze to eliminate it from this world as though it were evil personified. This happens to be a pet peeve of mine, this whole anti-smoking bullshit. I hate not being able to smoke when I see a movie or eat at a restraunt. I didn't mind the smoking/non-smoking sections, but the nonsmoking areas started to spread, and then like suburban sprawl, they took over. You can barely smoke outside of your own home. Bars are banning it, and that makes no sense to me. When you drink, what do you want to do? SMOKE. They go together like peanut butter and jelly.
So, you ask, why am I talking about this here? How is this possibly relevant? Well, here, from the article:
Can you think of any good movies without smoking in them? March of the Penguins, anyone? If you discount historical films such as Barry Lyndon or Ben-Hur, a diet of non-smoking films would be almost unwatchable. But what would be most tragically lost are the great black-and-white smoking films of the 1940s - Casablanca, Now, Voyager, The Big Sleep - where wreaths of smoke are an essential and beautiful part of the cinematography, and where smoking quite clearly stands for sex. The Big Sleep (1946) opens with a title shot of two cigarettes smouldering in an ashtray that suggests more strongly than flesh scenes ever could that Bogart and Bacall are having an affair. And we learn a lot about the intimacy between Paul Henreid and Bette Davis in Now, Voyager from his habit of lighting two cigarettes at once and handing one to her. Cigarettes in movies are about far more than just whether the characters happen to have a nicotine addiction.So, hah! See! See! I know what I'm doing. It all makes sense. Who are you to question me!
Look, my Uncle Ben always told me...With great power comes great responsibilty...now shut up and eat your fucking rice!
Wait, where am I?
I know the article is refering to England. Great Britain. The United Kingdom? That country over there (who are they anyways??), but with all the BS in the world and REAL problems, why does it MATTER if I want to have a cigarrette. Why do I need to walk across the entire office and go outside in the freezing cold. Bastards. You want the fresh fucking air. You go outside. You stay home and wait for the movie to come to DVD. I'm the one that's going to go nuts sitting for 3 hours without a smoke through a shit movie like King Kong. Not you. I pay my taxes (more so cuz I have to pay a billion dollars in taxes on a pack of camels), why am I shunned?
Smoking goes hand in hand with entertainment. It always has. And every day, we get closer and closer to losing that. Without smoking in movies, how will you know who the drunks are? Or who just fucked someone? Who the cheating wife is? It's one less thing for the suspected murderess to leave her lipstick on.
Look, all I'm saying is that we play a role in society and in movies. And in the end, to all you nonsmokers, I ask this: When we're all gone, and your smoke free world exists, who are you going to feel superior to?
Click it. It's bigger, and nakeder? Not really...It's just bigger. But...oh yeah.
I think I should do this more often...
Stolen from DailyStarlet.com
South Korean Actor, Star of `Oldboy', Returns Medal to Govt
By Heejin Koo
Feb. 7 (Bloomberg) -- A South Korean actor who played the lead role in the international hit movie ``Oldboy,'' handed back a medal awarded to him by the government in protest over a cut in screening quotas for local films.
``The medal was personally my pride and honor,'' Choi Min Shik told reporters in Seoul today as he held his Jade Crest Cultural Medal, carefully wrapped in pale green satin. ``Now it is a symbol of the government's betrayal.''
South Korea's government announced Jan. 26 it would halve the number of days that cinemas must show local movies to 73 from 146, in response to demands by Pixar, Walt Disney Co. and other Hollywood studios. A week later, South Korea and the U.S. agreed to begin negotiations for a free-trade agreement.
``The government's decision to cut the quotas is equivalent to giving up our culture,'' said Choi, who received the medal, the fourth-highest honor awarded to artisans by the government, in July 2004. ``I don't need a medal from a country that chooses to stamp on our own cultural rights.'' The actor was speaking in Seoul just before his one-man protest in front of the Ministry of Culture and Tourism today, at which he returned the award.
Clad in a thick coat, turtle-neck sweater and gloves, he planned to stand in the sleet and snow holding a sign that read: ``Oldboy would not have existed without the screening quota.''
The film, directed by Chan Wook Park, was the second most successful film in the country in terms of ticket sales and won the grand jury prize at the 2004 Cannes Film Festival.
Other prominent local actors also demonstrated against the government's decision, with Ahn Sung Ki, Park Jung Hoon and Jang Dong Kun taking turns to stage daily lone protests in downtown Seoul or in front of the National Assembly. The moviemakers' coalition plans to hold a march in central Seoul to protest the free trade negotiations.
The U.S. wants to expand trade with South Korea, its seventh-largest trading partner, which in the first 11 months of 2005 totaled $25 billion in U.S. exports and $40 billion in Korean imports. An agreement with South Korea would be the most significant accord since its North American Trade Agreement, Nafta, signed with Canada and Mexico 15 years ago, said U.S. Trade Representative Rob Portman.
Friday, February 03, 2006
I don't care how many zombies I have to kill (don't say that! say what? you know, the zed word) I want this
I don't collect action figures like I used to...but I'm going to have to make an exception for this one. Click on the pic to find out more...
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Stardust will start shooting in April, and they're casting it right now, and in some ways the casting process is the most fun and the most frustrating bit of any film-making process. Matthew's plan is to cast Tristran and Yvaine as relative unknowns and put his stars in smaller parts -- the witch, for example, or the captain of the flying ship.Mathew is Mathew Vaughn, who directed Layer Cake and is the director for Stardust. That's kind of an interesting choice I think. I liked Layer Cake, but his history is more in "gangster" type movies with Guy Ritchie. And Stardust is a very different typ e of story. It's also a great story. I remember when it first came out, I stayed up until 5am reading the entire book in one night. As of right now I actually own I think 4 different versions of the book.
Gaiman also mentions in his blog a couple of other projects
I went from there to Paramount to see Stardust producer Lorenzo DiBonaventura and Matthew Vaughn, and I met Paramount Execs Gail Berman and Brad Weston, who are all very excited about Beowulf (Paramount) and Stardust (Paramount). I stayed up too late into the night tha night watching DVDs of Yvaine auditions, which was fascinating (partly because pretty much everyone I had on my mental list for DEATH was filmed reading scenes from STARDUST, so I got to strike a few people from the list and put a few actresses I hadn't thought of or hadn't previously heard of onto the DEATH list).
Read the entire entry
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
The new Bond movie, Casino Royale, started filming last Friday. They still haven't cast a villian or female lead. Talk now is that maybe it will be Rachel McAdams cast as the new Bond girl. Probably not, but I wouldn't mind.
What I do know is that it's 2006. 24 years later. Why make a sequel NOW???
What the hell is the point of making sequels 20+ years later? I don't get it. Why wait so long?
I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle here, but I just think that maybe Hollywood needs to stop going back to the well and come up with something new(ish). There are stories out there. Come up with new characters and a few new ideas, it's ok. No one is going to think less of you.
The Hollywood bigwigs bitch about movie attendance being down. I don't believe that they're losing the money they say they are. But lets assume for a minute they are. Is it because of piracy like they claim, or is it because the make movies like Starsky and Hutch and The Dukes of Hazard? Nobody wants to refienance their house to go see a movie and buy some popcorn and a soda to have their inteligence insulted for 2 hours (3 in the case of King Kong). Then look at a movie like the Wedding Crashers. #1 movie for how many weeks? Cost $40 million to make and made something like $200 million at the box office. So don't tell me that people aren't willing to go see movies.
Just release something worth watching.
So, Power of the Dark Crystal, set hundreds of years after the first movie follows a mysterious girl made of fire who steals a shard of the crystal in hopes of reigniting the dying sun. Genndy Tartakovsky (created Samurai Jack, Dexter's Laboratory and Star Wars:Clone Wars) will direct.